14 y old dc and their attitude to money

[tropicalfish]

hi,
My dc has received about 70 pounds as a gift and saved up another 50 and wants/intends to spend it all in A and F and Jack Wills!! I think this is a complete waste of money. How much do you interfere with your dcs spending 'of their own money'? I dont object to her buying one item but they are such expensive shops! I mean £38 on a long sleeved tee shirt!!
I am interested in building a sensible attitude to money in my daughter so I am interested in your advice and experience.
many thanks

i think you have to let her make her own decisions and learn to budget for herself. i agree that those shops are ridiculously priced, but if that's what she wants, then she's likely to not take kindly to you objecting. feel free to point out that you think i's a waste of money, and just ask if she's sure it's worth it, but don't outright say no, that'll get you nowhere.
i'm 17, going into my upper 6th year at college. through secondary school i would get a weekly pocket money from my parents, which was mine to spend however i liked (though anything requiring online ordering had to be negotiated through mum, due to my lack of debit card). my parents would pay for 'essential' stuff like clothes and books, and lunch money, but anything extra had to be paid for by me. once i started sixth form i got a bank account and switched to a monthly allowance of £120. i have to pay for my own clothes, books, lunch etc, as well as whatever else i fancy. i'll readily admit i'm a bit crap at budgeting, but doing it like this is making me learn for when i'm off at uni in the real world.
i think letting her work it out for herself, as i've done/am doing, is the best way. in the end she won't believe it's a waste of money until the money she's wasted is her own.

Thankfully my DS has no desire to follow this need for 'designer' clothing at the moment. However, he does spend too much of his birthday/christmas money (in my opinion) on PS3 'shooting games' often at £40 a time - which I think is a total waste. However, if you can't spend your own money on things that you want then what is the point in having birthday money!!!

I think you are just going to have to give her the benefit of your advice/opinion and then let her make her own mind up. Most of the money was a gift after all - so she is treating herself. Look on the bright side, she isn't asking you to buy her designer clothes!!!!

Vastly better than £120 worth of wear it once Primark tat.

Yes it's stupidly expensive for what it is, but think of all the floorobe space and mess saved by buying only a few items.

Your DC may even take care of expensive things, DD1 only gives a small scowl at the suggestion her white stuff and animal dresses need hangers.

Unfortunately, given how awful next, M&S etc are at the moment and the amount of polyester rubbish in Top shop, there doesn't seem to be a middle price for teen or adult clothes at the moment.

I agree computer games can be ££. SIMs I don't mind, seems to give hours of enjoyment. DS games that last less than a day

Oh and it saves looking at cheap tat.

Wonders if she dare ask DD to change out of pilled ASDA jumper.

It's a time to start learning - yes, they will waste money on what you wouldn't have spent it on, but I'd rather they did it with birthday/Christmas/pocket money than have their first opportunity to make mistakes once the amounts are much bigger (ie, with wages).
It's not about isolation though, it's about regularly talking about money and prices and how many of this you can get from that shop or the other shop, or, balancing getting one really expensive top against getting 5 tops at other places, etc. As long as they are making informed choices, then they need to be able to make those choices.
I actually have found that my dd is FAR more careful about spending her own money, than mine

There's no point to her saving money if she's not allowed to spend it on what she likes.

The 70 quid is a gift for her and therefore she gets to decide how to spend it, imo.

Why do you think these clothes are such a waste of money? Isn't the quality very good?
Would you have objected if someone had paid £70 on this sort of clothing for her?

misty makes some very good points.

Thanks for your advice. I know you are all talking good sense. I just think 2 tee shirts for £70 are too expensive.
But it is true, she will get good wear out of them and going to one favourite shop is alot more pleasant than going to lots of tat shops and buying clothes that will fall to pieces.

You should try going to Hollister on regents st. Its hell on Earth. A & F on Saville Row is positively heaven in comparison!!I
I should be pleased she prefers quality.
Thankyou again for your words of wisdom