Lost it with DS - feel so low now ...

[hadagutsfull]

Don't even know why I'm posting really - sympathy, advice, reassurance?? We've had a few issues with DS recently regarding his attitude, the company he's keeping etc, usual teenage stuff. Over the last few weeks things seemed to have really improved. Till today.

Everything was fine until his friend rang & he then decided he was going out (he's 15). We had a few words over something minor but then he was so rude to me, I slapped him. I'm not proud of this but he goaded me into it. I can't just stand back and let him talk to me like I'm shit - it's not so much what he says, it's the way he says it - he looks at me as though I'm dirt.

He's gone out now and I'm feeling so low and guilty and thinking I shouldn't have risen to the bait, should have stayed calm etc, etc, but when it happens it's hard to think like that. I've only ever done my best for him (like most parents) and just feel like shit's your thanks and that the less you do, the more they seem to think of you.

Sorry for the rant. Would like to say I feel better now but I don't

I think you need to apologise to him when he comes home. Tell him you know what you did was wrong. Ask him not to be so rude to you in the future (of course he will be, but it still needs to be said).

I think when they are this age, the have been taught the basics of manners, and do know them even if they choose not to use them, so sometimes we do have to stand back and take the rudeness, apart from a "Please don't speak to me like that". Which at the time will seem quite ineffectual, but I think it's probably the only thing we can do. (Obviously we can't go slapping our DC every time they are rude!)

Thanks Lynette he's just come back in for some food. He texted first and said 'sorry about earlier' so it's my turn now. I really don't want to be like that with him but sometimes he just pushes the buttons till I snap. I need to learn to just walk away and then deal with it when we've both calmed down I guess. Anyway thank you again - I'm going to speak to him now.

He texted to apologise? You have a good boy there.

I love the way they come home when they are hungry.

He doesn't normally apologise easily - either by text or in person - so that was a step forward! We have been waiting for a parcel to arrive for him today but I mustn't be cynical and link the apology with him wanting to keep me on his side for that ...

I apologised too but said (calmly and quietly) that the way he was treating me was not acceptable. All is peaceful at the moment - until the next time! I'm really going to try and remember to keep calm and walk away if necessary, and then deal with the attitude/behaviour at a later point. That's the theory anyway ...

Thanks again.

I can't give you any advice just sympathy mine know exactly how to wind me up however much I try to stay calm. Just try your best that's all you can do.

Thank Fairy - all sympathy gratefully accepted! It's just bloody hard work isn't it? Everyone else's families all seem to live such perfect lives. I know they don't, obviously, but at times it really does seem that way.