Holiday hell - never again - anyone else given up on family holidays?

[mulranno]

Having a hideous time. Kids at each other throats, moaning, fighting etc - I just want to go home and back to work. We really cant cope being holed up with each other 24/7. This is the first week off we have had in a year, we are facing major financial problems and this holiday is unbearable. Dont think I can ever do this again.

Exit I think that is the essence it all hits a peak and dysfunctional is what it feels like...so depressing

That's such a shame for you.
Hope you find a way to enjoy your holidays and your children!

Beamur - we did used to enjoy the hols, but DD has become an angry teenager over night and is mightily arsey about everything - and DH and I are not the most accommodating of people so the three of us together creates a bit of a ticking bomb.

For crying out loud - we stopped at Stonehenge on the way home and DD was embarrassed! Embarrassed to be seen at Stonehenge!!! She kept muttering that 'other people' don't do this sort of thing. I forced the information talky thingy on her and told her she would bloody well appreciate the place. I did find her having a sneaky listen though

We have the dilemma with our kids of trying to find things to span their ages - one is 5 and the others are 17 & 18 - so try and have days doing different things, but it's not unusual for DP and I to have the odd day apart where I do something with the little one and he does something a bit more adult with the older ones.
Got to laugh at Stonehenge being 'embarrassing'. Even our now very laid back and placid 18 yr old went through an arsey phase at about 13, mostly with his Mum though (who found him a real PITA sometimes).

This is incredibly sad. I suppose if you don't enjoy family time at home it's never going to work on holiday when you are thrown together for long periods.
I love my family hols and I am plotting to make sure DS1(16) keeps coming with us until he is 25 much older.
I do though, choose holidays entirely with DS1 and DS2 in mind. I wouldn't expect them to enjoy camping or sightseeing or anything cultural - they are teenage boys and like activities and meeting girls
If it were just DH and me we would have completely different holidays, plenty of time for that when we can't drag the boys along any longer .

Why don't you have a mini break at somewhere like butlins where they are set up to entertain across the age groups. And you are not there for too long.
Agree with ofmenandmice choose a holiday the dc will enjoy and you may enjoy it as well by default

Butlins

I can only sympathise.

I was the woman on Brittany Ferries covered in vomit (from 12 and 14 YO). Ok not their fault, but all the other kids on the ferry managed to discreetly vom into a bag.

I was the woman at Gatwick who was shouting "there are abused children who don't have enough to eat... and you are screaming, punching and crying refusing to sit in the middle of the back seat of the car on the way back home from two weeks at Disney, Florida.."

I was the woman in Rome at the Spanish steps looking with 16 YO announcing "..the're only f*cking steps [teenage face].

I was the woman on the French campsite begging for valium as 16 YO and 14YO were refusing to sleep in the same caravan or breath the same air.

I was the woman at the D day graves when 16 YO "couldnt be arsed as it was boooring" to get out of the car and pay her respects..

Now DH has suggested an RV holiday next year. Travelling down the west coast USA.

I will be the woman checking into the Betty Ford clinic.

What's an RV holiday?

DD is refusing to ever go away with us again if she cannot take a friend - I replied that it would be wonderful to have an outsider witnessing our family meltdowns.

We did ok this year but I can see how it can melt down. We always go to the same destination - so dds know exactly what to expect and cannot claim it's boring. Dh took big girls off for one day that dd3 was too young for which was probably helpful for them. Fighting in the car has never been a major issue - yet..............

An RV is a motor home, and an RV holiday would be the death of me!!

I haven't given up as such, I just have low expectations now. I've stopped getting my hopes up. DD2 is guarunteed to find it pretty hard, cry, try to pick fights with me. Now I have to add in the stroppy teenaged "this is soooo boooriiinggg" to that as well.

We can still have a few great days on holiday, but we'll never have a holiday in which every day is good and/or major problem free. And now that I don't expect it to be good every day, I find it easier. It was so much harder when I used to go in hoping that the entire time will be fun

I also have to do some careful site picking. We nearly always use static caravans, and it has to be nice enough to spend days on site in case DD2 is having a really bad day and can't leave the van, and also have a variety of things to do nearby that will suit a teenager and a younger primary-school aged child (and my adult DD and her husband if they come along!)

Taxiforme...that made me laugh.

I do think taking a friend might work for us. I actually enjoy taking dd away. It's the combination of us all which doesn't work.

Me and DD alone works. DD and DH alone has worked in the past. Like you say MrsR, it is the combination of the three of us. Crikey, how sad is that.

Meh - they will have to live with it.

I find taking a friend for Dd2[16] works really well, Dd3 [9] has ASD so it wouldnt work for her.

I take the Dd's and one or two friends for Dd2 away every year, I dont take DP though.

As a rule Dd2 ignores Dd3 when there is a friend around and Dd3 is no trouble if Dd2 leaves her alone.

When we go as a family it usually ends badly with the Dd's bickering endlessly and DP being a grumpy old man.

I have had some great hols this summer but have found flexibility to be the answer, if Dd2 wants to sit in the car with headphones on, so be it. I have even left Dd2 at home with DP and just taken Dd3 on one trip which was nice

I am sorry that some of you have had such a bad time this summer and hope that you can adjust your holiday options and give yourselves a break next year

I was just about to post about EXACTLY this! thank God it's not just me...

My DP and I have been together 5 years. We have 4 boys between us 13, 13, 12 and 8. EVERY year we've been away I have sworn never again. Whether it's a AI to Crete or camping in Dorset there is always shouting and irritability on all our parts. The boys fight, ignore us, ignore each other, wrestle, are ungrateful, rude, don't listen, behave like hooligans in restaurants, I generally have a crap time and really resent spending my hard earned cash on a holiday like that. My boys, DP and I are fine, his boys, DP and I are fine, yet when we're all together it's like WW3 and I hate myself for being that shouty, irritable old hag on holiday.....

We've decided to try Morzine next year where apparently there are a billion activities to do. If that doesn't work. I'm done!!

We went on a cruise we thought there would be lots for them to do....there was an onboard Aqua park, teen lounge, arcade etc. DS16 said the teen lounge had been dreamt up by old blokes in suits around a board table and wouldn't go near the place. We ended up spending an additional 450 quid on onboard wifi otherwise they'd probably have jumped overboard. It was a nightmare. Never again.

I felt the same this year on both our holidays.

DS is 14, so will be 15 by the time we next go away.

This year we were away for 8 nights in May half term. We're going back to the same destination but only for 5 nights which I hope will mean he doesn't have (as much) time to get bored. I have not decided about the summer yet, might not bother at all other than a weekend away, and then do something in October half term instead.

It's short breaks instead of weeks away until DS can do his own thing from now on.