help - teen son worried re exam results over the hols

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Help - took gcse s yr early - they do this at his school if think able - he is spending most of summer woried about results when goes back.He thinks some went well not others.

.He has very high self imposed standards.He has always been the sort of boy that likes to be ahead but if he gets behind then does not want to run the race!!!!I think that despite loving support he lacks confidence.

.He came into our room at 2 am last night couldnt sleep worried.I have written him a letter this am so that he can take time to read it - he often likes to write stuff down.-telling him that re sits are not a failure but it takes a strong person to re face something and to learn from any past issues in order to take action and this courage will help him feel more in control.Ive told him how much we love him and that we love him for who he is.
I wonder if it was the mental pressure on him /maturity as he does have ability.. He has been student of the year for numerous subjects and proud of it as he gets 100% in a number of subjects which he loves in tests such as geograpy and maths ..and i wonder if he struggles in some of his three sciences or struggles with the idea that they dont come as easy as other subjects- he just cant admit it to himself as he can be hard on himself which we are v aware of .its hard to find the dialouge to help him be kind to himself sometimes.

Also he has always been a self starter and declined support to revise such as testing stuff-i wonder if by not doing this he inadvetantly did not fully prepare for some subjets and how to help him if he is so independant in mind but realy needing practical help.

Please could anyone pass on what has helped with a smilar determinded ,sensitive and lacking confidence ds...

I think you both need to chill out !

While I can see that your letter is meant to be encouraging and supportive ..it's rather on the heavy side to be talking about learning from past actions and failures and having courage when he hasn't even got the results yet! He's ..presumably.. a 15 year old boy with years ahead, not on a make or break deal.. all he needs to know he you love him whatever the results and that you hope for the best!

Honestly.. I have 4 teens+ and have been through GCSE, A levels with them and the anxiety he is feeling is completely normal..completely normal.. every student wishes they had tried harder etc and the more sensitive hard working ones can be tough on themselves... but that means they need a relaxed support not anxious worst case scenario support as that only feeds their self doubt.

Please go give him a hug, and a breezy cheery.. 'you'll be fine.. ' because the reality is, they either WILL be..or he will resit some, and in the end it IS up to him in how he works for them.. we are there to provide encouragement, seek extra help if needed and jolly them along!

(ps you sound lovely.. hang in there..:))

Thanks medusa- thank so much for saying this is normal-!!! it alarmed me a bit to be woke up at 2 pm and i was so worried about him - prob more so as tired thia am as cdnt get back to sleep!!
instead of sending letter ive made him a bacon roll when he emerged at 12 non and made it clear im around the house doing jobs, so he just knows and hopefully feels background support without me being in his face- dh off work too so will watch bit sport with him later and i will do something w dd

.I think i tend to panic when he says" but its my future im worried about "and when i try to reasure /jolly along as he says i" dont understand etc- im worried etc"It was esier to get into uni when you went etc"which is true, so i admit i find it hard to do the jolly along thing .....im such a softie much eassier when little to make it better and i know hat now i just cant sometimes.I get the impression that if home stays a welcoming place with nice food and folk around that will be a comfort to him- right?? well done you for doing this several times over and i appriciate yr wisdom....