I know this is probably not unusual, but I am finding it quite difficult to deal with, so am hoping to hear how other people cope.
Dd2 is 13. She is fairly mature for her age (both bodily and mentally). She has lots of friends, all different groups - friends from her school of her own age, friends from her choir of all different ages (mostly older, but some the same and younger). She also makes loads of friends when she goes to things like PGL. So she's very sociable, and spends time with her friends as much as she can during holidays / weekends.
She is very involved with her choir, so during term time has lots of extra-curricular activities going on, understands the meaning of commitment and very rarely misses any of the engagements / rehearsals etc. It's generally me who does the ferrying back and forth to choir things, and I also run the choir website and sing in the parents' choir, so we do have that as something in common, and we obviously spend time together because of it.
She does OK at school - if she likes a subject she does well in it, the teachers love her. If she isn't interested has a tendency to be a little cocky / chatty, and can get herself in trouble by not realising when she should just shut up.
Her friends' parents think she's great, and she does know how to be polite, can chat with adults with no problem and I always get great reports back from them when she's been at their houses, or been away with them (she's just got back from a holiday with one friend & her family, all went really well).
So, I hear you ask, what on earth is the problem? Well, she just doesn't want to communicate with me or dh, barely with dd1 (15). If we ask her about things she's been doing (holiday, PGL), she barely grunts in response. The more questions you ask (trying to show an interest), the more annoyed she gets. She prefers to spend time on her own watching TV or on her computer (when she's at home, and friends not around), doesn't really want to engage in doing "family" things unless forced. When I ask her why she says it's because we are all "too annoying". She isn't a very good eater - v fussy, so often won't eat what we are eating, which means she makes her own food (family rule) which then can mean (depending on how long it takes to prepare) she isn't eating with us.
I have read the book "Get out of my life but first take me and Alex to town" and it does talk about this kind of non-communicative behaviour in boys, but not so much in girls.
Dd1 has her own foibles, but generally we can't stop her communicating (everything in minute detail) and she willingly spends time with me & dh, so it feels like dd2 is left out of things, and becoming less a part of the family and more isolated from the rest of us. I really hate it 
but don't know if it's actually normal, and just something we have to learn to live with.
Sorry this is so long. Can anyone else identify with this? Is there anything we can do to "bring her back" or am I being incredibly naive?