How do I find Counselling?

[pastamamma]

My 16y old DS is driving me insane. I am already being treated for depression. I don't want to get my GP or Social Services involved. DS tells me frequently that he does not respect me. He is physically intimidating and bigger than me. He does not think twice about wrestling me out of the way if I stand between him and the TV/his X-box/the computer to which he is completely addicted. He does not use bad language, but frequently tells me to 'shut up' even if DH is present. DH does not react unless pressed by me to do so. I am not a wilting violet and will stand my ground verbally, but it is getting me down big time. DH almost always takes sides with DS against me. I get on well with our daughters but DS is ruining both our family life and my relationship with DH.

There should be some listed in the phone book. It can take a while to find one that you click with and you will have to pay. Mine was £40 per hour.

It sounds as if both you and DH need help. He is not supporting you and he should be. Your son is not behaving and that needs to be dealt with by both of you showing a united front. I'd start with a strong conversation with your DH about what you need him to do.

Is it possible to enquire at your GP just to see if counselling is provided?
Some counsellors have links to the GP surgery/take referrals from them but are not actually 'owned' by the GP. You won't even need an appointment with doctor to find out. Just ring local GP and ask if they have a counselling service and if they do self referrals.
You could also google for counselling services in your area but it might be an idea to ensure they are BACP accredited (think you can search for accredited counsellors through BACP website but is a bit of a minefield)

doinmummy thanks for your advice. Do I need to look for any particular qualification?
Re, the strong conversation with DH, I've had several, on the lines of 'how would you liike it...?' DH just wants a quiet life with no hassle so hates to get involved unless he absolutely has to. He fails to see how his actions - or non actions completely undermine me.

Unacceptable - just read your post. Many thanks and will follow through.

pasta, if you have a children's charity in your area, they may provide counselling. That's how I found it for my own son. Google "children counselling name-of-your-town" and see.

But two words of caution... Firstly, no counselling is ever compulsory. Your son needs to be a willing and active participant. 'Talking therapies' don't suit many/most teenagers - they need to be open and ready to talk. Is your son? In my case, it took 6-8 months to arrange counselling for my son, and he went for 3 weeks, then he and the counsellor decided he didn't need it.

Secondly, from the little you describe, it really does sound like your problem is your husband, not your son. (Sorry for being so blunt). DS's behaviour is unacceptable but very common/usual for young teens 'trying it on'. It needs challenging. If your DH doesn't do this, and even (as you say) 'takes sides against you', then you don't stand a chance of stopping it. No amount of counselling for DS will make DH 'man up' and start parenting properly!