I've let her down

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DD has recently started driving. I told her before she started that I wouldn't be doing any teaching - too nervous. She seems to be getting on well with her lessons and has pestered about practising in our car telling me everybody else's parents do it. I actually think this is the case and have put her on the insurance (she paid half the premium).

We've been out twice and it has not gone well - I am very tense which makes her nervous so her driving isn't all I'm sure it is usually and I get more tense...........

She's said she doesn't want to go out with me anymore and I feel really bad about it. I know it is good for them to get a lot of practice and it makes it safer for them when they do pass their test.

Feeling really guilty I've let her down.

I never went out with parents when I learnt to drive. I consider myself a safe driver.

I am a terrible passenger and I would be very tense like you if I was teaching someone.

You havent let her down. You sound like a great mum.

Thansk for that wanna. I didn't have anything other than formal lessons either.

Our car is much the same size as the one she is learning in, but all cars handle differently which I don't think she was expecting (although I did tell her!). I offered to take her to a nice empty car park very early this morning so we could both try to up our confidence but no go.

I should just have stuck to "no" - I know I've knocked her confidence, not to mention her savings account! Hopefully she will pass her test in the next month or so and the premium already paid will be offset against whatever will be payable for her to drive the car independently.

Don't feel bad. It may seem everybody gets to use their parents car for practice but many people don't and pass fine.

Is there any way you could take her to the car park just for practicing manouvers? I doubt you would find it so stressful as it's such slow speed, especially good if it's a quiet car park.
At least you would get some of your moneys worth and the manouvers (I think) was one of the more difficult parts of passing the test so that would be of great benefit to her.
If you just explain, it's nothing to do with her driving but that you're just a nervy passenger so she doesn't doubt her abilities.
Good luck.

Have you got a friend who could sit in with her a few times until she gets used the car?

I only went out once with a parent - my dad. I crashed the car into a parked van

Don't feel guilty about it, I have vowed to never teach/supervise practice when my kids are old enough (not far off now ) either. I would end up a screaming banshee.

My (older) boyfriend at the time used to let me drive a lot which was great because it meant I got enough practice to pass my test whilst still 17, which in turn meant I was the cool girl in 6th form who drove to school in her boyfriend's second car, lol Good times!

Yes when i was learning to drive my patents brought me a car and my mum took me out driving every evening until i passed, luckily 1st time!

My dad only sat with me once tho as he doesn't have the patience LOL

I will suggest the car park again (perhaps after she's had another formal lesson). She might feel a bit better then.

Her dad could take her out, but he's not a good passenger with anybody, so I'm not sure that wouldn't be just as bad or even worse (they don't have the best of relationships anyway).

Just have to see how things go I suppose. She has another lesson on Thursday - maybe her instructor will suggest she takes up the car park offer.

There used to be (many many years ago) private places set out like roadways, with traffic lights, crossings etc specifically for learners where again I would feel fine taking her, but they don't seem to exist anymore. (It was Hornchurch aerodrome in my day!)

Oh, that bit of taking myself back was useful. There is a website for the Hornchurch aerodrome and it is still in business as a practical learner driver place!!

It is a fair drive from us now, but probably worth it while the holidays are still here. Off to investigate properly!