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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Stop giving me money!!

12 replies

Addie18 · 08/08/2012 16:26

I live at home with my parents as I am still 17, I'm in full time education and last summer I got made redundant. My parents give me an allowance but part of me wishes they didn't, I don?t want to rely on them as much, I feel like it is a waste of money if they give it to me. I am looking for another job so I don?t hinder them. My mum won?t allow me to pay for housekeeping, so I don't really know how to give their money back to them. If I go shopping with my parents I always refuse if they try to buy me things, I know that most teens would jump at the chance to get new things. I have got to the stage now where I think my parents believe that I don?t appreciate their offers, which I most certainly do, they just don?t see that I?m trying to help them. We have all recently joined my local gym as a family and I tried to no avail to stop them joining me up... I don?t see the point of them paying for me when I would be quite happy to run the street. Does anyone have any ideas to get them to either understand me or get them to stop gifting me with things??

OP posts:
NatashaBee · 08/08/2012 16:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ToujoursPur · 08/08/2012 16:37

I'll swap parents with you if you want? I never even got pocket money from my parents never mind an allowance, gym memberships etc.

Personally, I think you are making an issue where there isn't one. Save your money and repay them when they're older and in need of your care.

usualsuspect · 08/08/2012 16:38
ImperialBlether · 08/08/2012 16:40

You are really ungrateful!

They are being kind to you and tbh it doesn't sound as though they have ulterior motives. As virtually anyone on here - if their 17 year old is at college they would expect them to get/look for part time work but to keep them. If your parents were on benefits or tax credits, they would get money for you and they will still get family allowance for you.

If you don't need it, a nice word with them would be fine. "That's okay, mum, I'm alright for money at the moment" is fine.

You sound like you're punishing them for something.

Original poster
Addie18 · 08/08/2012 16:43

NatashaBee I try to help out when I can... My mum's excuse is that i'm a "good girl".

ToujoursPur I totally understand your reasining.However, I have a 19 year old sister too and she gets an allowance because she is at university and needs money to live. This is why I feel I maybe don't deserve it, because I know that they all need it more than I do.

OP posts:
Original poster
Addie18 · 08/08/2012 16:45

ImperialBlether I'm not ungrateful at all, and I've had words. I don't want the money because I dont need it. I'm not punishing them at all... I help out and I try to be a good person.

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EduStudent · 08/08/2012 17:00

I have to say, I sort of understand where you're coming from.

I truly appreciate all that my parents give me (have just graduated uni), but I find it difficult when they give me money/offer to pay for things when, well, I just don't really need them to. I think it stems from knowing that they aren't exactly well off themselves and that the money could be better spent on the house/family things.

It can also feel a bit disheartening when I've budgeted and managed my money carefully and try to take responsibility/stand on my own feet and they just sort of whizz in and pay for things that I'd been proud about saving for.

But, I know its because they love me and want to help me, as Imperial said, there's no ulterior motive. I've mostly been saving it up, which has been really helpful now I'm about to move into my own place, as I have a safety net behind me.

Are you having driving lessons? Mentally earmarking the money my parents gave me as being for that helped me getting irrationally worked up about it! Smile

Original poster
Addie18 · 08/08/2012 17:08

EduStudent That's exactly how I feel, I completely respect my parents and know that they believe it is for the best. And so far the money has been going towards driving lessons Smile I know they like helping me out along the way... It just feels all a bit too much sometimes.

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EduStudent · 08/08/2012 17:15

Just Smile, thank them and remember that one day you'll look back and be glad that they did. That's what I'm trying to do!

Original poster
Addie18 · 08/08/2012 17:42

Sounds like a plan to me Smile

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beagreassive · 10/08/2012 11:54

Ya know. If they do stuff like that and you appreciate it, but had intended to pay for it yourself and have money stashed aside for it... why not do something nice for them as a repayment and a "hint" that you are becoming financially independent? So like, for example, my DD bought me some expensive and fancy hair stuff (she gets a discount) and said it was just to say thank you for all the stuff I do for her. And she bought her step dad a new set of speakers for his birthday. It made me realise, I don't need to save her any more. i just need to make sure she has a roof and food... the rest she can manage, and needs to manage, in order to learn how to one day provide a roof and food to her own child...

Original poster
Addie18 · 10/08/2012 14:31

Thank you beagreassive I do try to treat my parents every now and again and i know that they too appreciate it. Thank you for the idea.

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