how do i teach my ds the value of money.

[slartybartfast]

he is 17,
he has had jobs in the past. he also had a 2 month youth thingy which paid him £30 a week fgs! just to turn up.

and he is skint.
I used to give him 10 per month pocket money and pay for his gym. but he stopped going to gym.
i offered to restart the gym on the proviso that he went. i gave him money to rejoin. - spent.
money for shoes - spent
money for trousers - spent.

he says on food. but he has unforutnately started smoking and also drinks.

currently i cannot afford to give him pocket money til next week. he gets paid on wednesday but I know he will blow it.
we have been saving for him, i intend to give it to him for his 18th but dh doesnt want to. but as he is officially an adult at 18 i think we ought to.

it is so frustrating. i have also told his sister not to sub him as he requests frequently but perhaps i ahve gone too far in that respect

Stop giving him money?

Don't give him any when he turns 18.

You can't just hand him the money over when he is 18, that would be disaster! But what you could do is sit down and talk to him about his options of what he could spend the money on, ie a car, going to uni, deposit for rent/mortgage, go travelling etc etc, then you have some control to what it is spent on. And once decided, the money is only spent on a specific item, not just handed over to him.

Regarding teaching him the value of money, really this should be started from toddler age! Hard to do it now! Sorry that's not helpful is it!

How much do you actually spend on him? It sounds as if it's not just the ten pounds. Could you get him to be more responsible for himself and determine how much money you spend on him for clothes, extras etc and then give him that and be clear that is al there will be and when it's gone it's gone? If he spends it on drinking/smoking that is his choice but then he has nothing.

Might be disastrous of course, but that's what my parents did for me and it worked. I felt responsible and in control, and once it was spent then I had to make money if I wanted to spend it.

Oh, and I agree with math and hyperballad if you just hand money over to him next year it will be wasted if he's not learned how to manage it by then. You could opt for 21 instead, which used to be the traditional age for inheritance (to be honest it is entirely up to you and your dh whether and if you give it to him unless it's in an account in his name).

Deffo wait til he is 21 for the money, just that bit older and hopefully wiser. But 18, it will be gone in a jiffy. Think of all the effort in saving you have put in. Does he know you are saving for him?

oh thanks for your responses.
not sure about waiting til he is 21. he does know. and he was going to put it to a car/lessons. i believe.
thanks for your responses.
well he is still askign for bus fare and cannot seem to believe that i am skint and it is just not avaialble.
perhaps that will ahve been some sort of lesson. and no, i dont feel i give him money . he has had jobs and blown the money. i give him money for shos when necessary but lately he has just blown that.