Would this bother you?

[theredhen]

Dp and I have five kids between us, some who live with us 24/7, some only a third of the time. Four out of five are teens. We live in the middle of nowhere so we have to drive then wherever they want to go, they all have active social lives. Dp works from home, I work away from the home.

I literally never know who is in my house and when, can't make any plans because I'm never informed until the last minute if kids are here or not.

I literally drive home from work And dont know how many kids I will find at home when I get there or if dp will be there or not.

So am I being petty to think dp and dc could do more to keep me informed, for both practical reasons (I do the food shopping and cooking) and for emotional ones (can never plan a quiet evening in or a family evening for example).

And if the kids want a sleepover including boyfriends etc at our house, dp agrees and them "tells" me sometime before the event.

You know my view on this - your DP is taking you for granted and the only way he'll notice is when his DCs start to impact on him.

If he tells you there's a sleepover that night - "oh, ok but i'm off out early in the morning, there's no milk and we're a bit low on bread'. As for evenings, stay out late once or twice so you're not there when he gets home
He won't get the message any other way - and if home is easy and comfortable - these teens may never fly the nest!!

I give up! Spent all last night explaining how I feel, sent him texts today. He says my feelings are unfair and harsh.

I expected dsd to be home for tea at 5.30 with dp after talking to dsd (dp has told me nothing). He turns up at 4pm after passing me on the road, with dsd and promptly tells me he's off out for another three hours after which time dsd has told me he's taking her out again.

The rule for everyone in our house including me and DH is to tell the others if they are going out and roughly what time they will be back and also inform whoever is cooking whether they want tea or not, There is only DD3 at now so it's easier.However if DD2 comes home for a visit she still lets me know if she'll be in for tea.DD1 is married,so when she visits with her DH it's usually to see us although they do occansionally visit friends who live round here and they then tell us if that's what they are going to do.