DD's drinking - problem or normal boozing?

[givenup37]

Does anyone else's teens drink to excess? Part of me thinks this is a rite of passage, as all her friends do the same. DD is 17 and they will throw back vodka/rum/whisky before heading out for, presumably, more. Doesn't happen every day. But if I forbid it in the house, she'll just go to someone else's house and do it. Does she need help? Or will she grow out of it? Anyone got any tips about how to talk about binge drinking? I've hit a brick wall so far.

I did the same through my teenage years. Had a couple of bouts of sickness and a lot of hangovers. Is it affecting her school work or job? If she drinks every day then it could be a problem but this is the kind of thing most teenagers do. I still knock back a few before going out for more ad it proves cheaper but as a mother I only go out once every few months. Binge drinking will not resonante with her now as she just thinks she's having a good time.

she has friends who are 18. I give her a little money each week, but they all pitch in and booze is so cheap. She regularly has hangovers. The difficulty is - they're all at it! She only drinks socially (as far as I know)

Why is it such a big problem? Assuming she will be eighteen soon and will be going out to clubs and purchasing alcohol at the bar herself plus she will be 18 and an adult so responsible for herself. Is it a health concern? Is it a responsibility issue?

Does she get so drunk she can't get home? Are they all responsible for each other in the group or is she alone?

I know binge drinking isn't great and that it can cause health problems but at seventeen I would say she more than knows about the effects and long term issues of binge drinking and that she has just decided to take responsibility of her own life and not care right now. If you don't give her money she will get drink from her friends. If you stop her going out she will start lying to you and do it anyway.

Have you actually tried talking to her and saying you're worried and just want to know she's ok? Keeping the lines of communication open is key,even if she never wants to talk to you about it.

Thanks for all your comments. We live in a city centre - minutes from pubs/clubs/24-hour shops, so avoidance is impossible. She's slacked at college and I'm dreading AS results. totally agree that if I try to interfere she'll find ways round it. I'm carrying shedloads of guilt because her dad and I divorced last year - it worries me that she wants to get wasted, and on the health front, I've done the "worried mum" chat - no avail. Perhaps it's just a case of fingers-crossed and hope she grows out of it, as you say, lauratheexploreer.

If it is affecting school, part time work or other activities then I would say its a problem.

If it is every day, secretive or on her own it's a definite problem.

If its an average of once a week, with her friends and she gets home safely, its a right of passage!

I would try and make a deal with her that you will give her the money if she improves her school work. She's still under your roof and presumably not earning money on her own. Sure she'll go out but at eighteen I doubt her friends will keep her in alcohol for long without contribution. It may rake the summer to realise that but without money she can't keep up this standard of fun.

If it's not a serious problem (per the criteria of the posters above) but you're still not happy, are you making it uncomfortable for her to have a hangover?
(which my mum used to do to me as a 20 yr old when I was in college)

I know of one teenager whose mother fetched ice lollys from the shop to give her DD, allowed her to stay in bed to sleep it all off, and then brought her out shopping for a new outfit to replace the one puked on.

I would think that if you make sure she is up early and presented with a load of chores, while you make sure the house is nice and noisy with the hoover, TV etc, she will think twice of getting so drunk that she has to sleep it off the next day!