engaging your teens in some family time over Summer - what ya doing?

[rosajam]

We are going on an activity holiday with windsailing, cycling and other boating activities. We're taking cards and chess and trying to insist they read. We will also have some French meals. (Sitting on a beach with a book is a thing of the past and maybe future!!)

When we get back, we'll encourage board games and sharing the Olympics and taking them across England to mix with family.

However, X box, mobile phones, skype and day trips out with friends dominate.

What do you do to keep the conversations going with your teenagers/almost , particularly if they are like mine and they like to hibernate in their rooms?

DSs aged 14 and 16.
At home -
We always sit down to eat together in the evening.
Ping pong. We have a table tennis set up in the dining room for the summer. It gets used every day, several times a day. We all play each other.

Out
A busy weekend away in the UK and a lazy week abroad. On holiday we all read, do puzzles, play cards and UNO.
Other than that we live in the sticks and there is a lot of ferrying about done. As is often said on here teens will talk in the car .

It's true though that friends dominate. I sorely miss the summer holidays when they were younger and we did stuff together every day. Where before it would have been the 4 of us going to the seaside for a picnic, now they'd rather go with their friends .

Agree with dinner together - we also do that almost everyday - despite kids trying to come late or saying they are not hungry!

Like idea of ping-pong - may investigate.

My dc's just don't want to sit around on a lazy week - far too active which means we have to be to engage! never mind - not with us for long before they go off on adult adventures without us.

Must say I get a great deal of joy from their more mature conversations - amazing to see them develop.

Yes I love their company.

That's the main reason I plan all our holidays to suit them I'm very concious that the days of family holidays are numbered. I just hope this won't be the last year DS1 wants to come with us.
DH and I had many years of travelling together before we had DCs and so I'm not one of those parents who is looking forward to getting them off our hands.

I'm also hoping ds1 won't want this to be the last holiday he takes with us. We have dangled the prospect of an RV holiday around California under his nose in a couple of years and he's very keen on that idea!

Otherwise, it's hard as I also have a four year old to organise for as well. DS1 (quite understandably) doesn't seem to fancy an afternoon at the play park or other appropriate four-year-old activities. Mostly I unearth him by luring him out with the offer of lunch out somewhere.

But tbh this summer is post GCSE so I'm fairly happy to let him sleep till the afternoon and then stay up most of the night on the xBox. We're off on holiday in two weeks so we'll have two weeks of being together all the time, which I'm looking forward to. In the evenings, when ds2 is asleep, we'll play cards or watch dvds together.

I do miss having time with just him though- conversations are so interesting.

My DS has also just finished GCSE's which causes all manner of excuses to laze around and play x box - have to allow it as AS's are around the corner!! It is quite nice to see him chilled actually.

I find I have to get him out of his room for dinner though or I might not see him!

Yesterday, my DH took him to a football tournament (good old DH, so boring for him) all day which resulted in some lovely conversations.

My DD, almost 13, also creeps up to the bedroom more and more but girls , in my experience, find it easier to chat away with their mum's.

I must say - it is still a responsibility to develop your DC into reasonable, pleasant adults, but it is more enjoyable for me at this age. I like the teen years - cherish them actually as realise they will so soon be over.

It's a hard balance to strike between letting them chill out on their own and just let them be in their own space in bedroom etc and then suddenly realising you haven't had a proper conversation in days!

Mine (DS 14 and DD 17) usually go a bit hermit like for the first few days of hols and then emerge relatively normal! With nothing else to do,, DS would live in is room on XBox, but I can usually drag him away to something else. Paid him to spend two days sorting out our utility room which was looking like a junk shop and getting all stuff sorted for recycling/tip.

To try and encourage family time we got a table tennis table for DS for Christmas which he loves and everyone plays on that . They also really like cards- and they often suggest a game after evening meal, so we always try to play when they suggest it. Dig out a few snacks, drinks, sometimes play poker ( we got a set last summer for our holiday) etc

we always try to play when they suggest it
Yes schoolchauffeur, we do that. I don't always feel like playing but I try to say yes as it's far too easy for them to become room dwelling trolls.
They recently dredged out "Buzz" PS2 game and we had a few evenings playing that.
I try to find something that we like to watch on tv together. With DS1 it's usually Big Bang Theory and with DS2 some crime series. Might not be my first choice but it gets us on the sofa together .

Like the paying to do a clear out. Might try that.

Actually, cleaning around the house ( not just bedroom) has been a new thing with us. We feel while we are working and he is home, a bit of cleaning the kitchen and hoovering was his way of chipping in. He actually needed us to show him how to do it - wasn't sure [big grin] Anyways, he's doing his bit.

We're off to France tomorrow and just about to pack the cards and chess. DD wants to learn and DS loves both. Cards , we find is an easy way to engage us all and we too often get them out after a meal but term time - two teachers and two pupils and lots of activities, it is hard to find playing, chill time.

Hubby takes away camping and biking with some of his friends so I get time with my little girl. Everyone's happy