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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Should a 13 year old girl be allowed to read 50 Shades of Grey?

76 replies

Midwife99 · 14/07/2012 13:17

My cousin has asked me to post a discussion in her behalf. She has 13 year old twin girls. One of them is very precocious & challenging in general & the latest source of conflict is that she wants to read my cousin's copy of 50 Shades & when my cousin said no & she has gone mental & says she is treated like a 2 year old & she will get it from somewhere else. I agree with my cousin that a 13 year old shouldn't be brainwashed into thinking sexual domination & controlling in relationships is ok & that in the end the "gorgeous billionaire" will marry you (after whipping you of course!) I think a 13 year should be reading about much positive female role models. What do you think?

OP posts:
lflans · 10/07/2013 16:43

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scherazadey · 11/07/2013 10:28

I wouldn't allow a 13 year old to read my copy, but obviously she will just get hold of one from somewhere else. Another vote from me for Forever by Judy Blume though. Even got my 15 year old DS to read this on holiday as he's totally obsessed with a girl and I wanted him to read the ending of the book where they split up!

livinginwonderland · 11/07/2013 13:50

I read worse at that age, but I certainly didn't tell my parents about it!

Eyesunderarock · 11/07/2013 13:58

www.humanevents.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/zombies-620x412.jpg

ZOMBIE THREAD

ThreeBeeOneGee · 11/07/2013 13:58

I would insist that we read it together, a chapter at a time, followed by a frank discussion about each of the issues raised. The explicit stuff doesn't start till a couple of chapters in, as I recall.

My 13 year old has asked for the Inbetweeners movie. I said he could either watch it now, with me, followed by discussion, or he could watch it with his friends in a couple of years, no discussion necessary. He has chosen the latter.

valiumredhead · 11/07/2013 14:34

I'd happily let my 13 year old read The Joy of Sex and Jackie Collins and Jilly Cooper, but wouldn't want her reading 50 shades of utter drivel without making it very clear that out in no way represents a healthy relationship on any level.

valiumredhead · 11/07/2013 14:36

three I like your way of thinking,I can see myself borrowing that in the future !

ThreeBeeOneGee · 11/07/2013 16:56

valiumredhead: it works, but one of these days he'll choose option A and I'll have to carry it through! Blush

valiumredhead · 11/07/2013 17:07

Yeah but bet he runs from the room screaming before you doGrin

LaurieFairyCake · 11/07/2013 17:15

Dd asked to read it when she was 14. I know never to say 'No' as she's contrary and always looking for an argument.

So I said yes, of course but we would need to have a discussion about all the sex raised in the book and its context in modern feminism. I then went on to describe the problems associated with anal sex (very briefly)

  • loose bowels, fissures, bleeding.

She changed her mind after 30 seconds and looked aghast.

Never shown any inclination to read it again Wink

AllegraLilac · 12/07/2013 16:36

She'll read it or similar. I was reading muck online at that age. I enjoyed it a hell of a lot too. It taught me a lot about my own sexuality - either, yeah that sounds good, or eurgh, not for me. Didn't harm me in anyway at all. It's graphic sex yes, but in the overall context of a relationship between two humans with feelings - not airbrushed porn inflatable types.

So yeah, I'd let her read it. But probably because Fifty Shades is quite tame in content compared to what I actually get off on.

AuntieStella · 12/07/2013 16:56

You really saying she is asking her mum for permission to read currently well-known pornographic book? If so then, yes, she's not ready.

Honestly, what are teens coming to these days?

Apples7 · 16/07/2013 17:55

Well im a teenager & my friends have read it when they were 13/14 (last year)
If you let her you let her
I have heard its a mummy porn which makes me cringe especially if i was to ask my mum can i read 50 shades
But im just not in a place were i want to acept the fact that my mum would have 50 shades! Its horrid in my opinion after about 40 unless you want a child then dont do anything sexaul even reading porn i would cringe insanley at!

Apples7 · 16/07/2013 17:56

Well im a teenager & my friends have read it when they were 13/14 (last year)
If you let her you let her
I have heard its a mummy porn which makes me cringe especially if i was to ask my mum can i read 50 shades
But im just not in a place were i want to acept the fact that my mum would have 50 shades! Its horrid in my opinion after about 40 unless you want a child then dont do anything sexaul even reading porn i would cringe insanley at!
Boys of like 10/11 watch porn so its not that bad really

valiumredhead · 16/07/2013 18:12

Right......Hmm

Dackyduddles · 16/07/2013 18:14

Give her a better book, Lolita or lady chatterley. Or Paula danziger, forever?

MmeLindor · 16/07/2013 20:26

Big NO from me.

Mainly because of the message of the controlling relationship being utterly normal.

I think the best way is how some have said, 'I don't think that it is appropriate for your age, and this is why... '.

Those comparing it with Lace or similar haven't read the book, I presume.

Aside from anything else, the writing is abysmal.

MmeLindor · 16/07/2013 20:29

Actually, send her this blog post and get her DD to read it.

Maverick66 · 19/07/2013 20:13

I read this book at age of 46 and a mother of three.Haven't lead a sheltered life by any means and have read erotic fiction BUT even I recoile at some of the things in this book My angle would be child in question is obviously advanced for her years and mature but not mature enough to process the information in this book!

LeGavrOrf · 19/07/2013 20:29

I have not read 50 shades (read the piss take from Cassandra Parkin which made me laugh at how risible the writing is) but the concept is revolting. My 17 year old dd has probably been sick of my ranting about how bloody revolting Twilight is though (she hasn't read it, I have).

In saying that, I got out Philosophy of the Bedroom by the Marquis de Sade out of the library when I was 14, and read all types of Jackie Collins and Shirley Conran smut. I can't say I would like my dd to read it though

LeGavrOrf · 19/07/2013 20:31

I had no idea anal fisting was in 50 shades though. Jesus wept. How is that seen as mainstream now? (Answer: bloody porn).

lovelilies · 19/07/2013 20:45

No bloody way. Not a chance. Never.

AlanMoore · 23/07/2013 11:35

I read Fear Of Flying at about 12/13, enough rude bits to appease a curious teen but so much more wholesome! Get her that and a jackie or a jilly.

AlanMoore · 23/07/2013 11:36

Ps Atonement is a 'crass' bonk buster? I don't get it?

febel · 23/07/2013 12:23

It's an awful book and very badly written..I forged through them all cos wanted to know what all the fuss was about and still can't see what it's about...certainly not the writing. As for the porn...well I'm ob more worldly wise than some people. Annoyed me immensely too by how anti feminist it seemed to me and what a wet the lead girl was (similar to twilight!) Not a good role model at all
However, wouldn't want my 13 yr old reading it...if I were her at 13 wouldn't have asked my mum! would have just got a copy and read it (and can remember doing that with books!) Personally would rather re-ead Twilight saga...