14 yo has had the worst report since she was in reception - I am hugely disappointed

[LovelyMuffins]

Is this normal? She has always been top of her game, or near enough. Always in the top set, top half of top set, well above average. But last year her grades and exam results started to slide. I was accepting of this as she was entering adolescence and I expected a bit of a slump. I have never been a pushy academic parent. BUT this year she did not even acheive the average. In ANY subjects. She was below average for every single subject (exam results). I am absolutely gutted and very angry about it. She knows this. She goes to private school and always has done. I have threated to withdraw this privelege (it is very hard for me financially), but I don't know if I could in reality. WWYD?

please help. I don;t know wha tto do........

Changing school seems a bit harsh and not necessarily productive.

What else have you got in your arsenal?

I would expect the teachers to back you up as well if she's not reaching her potential.

i won't change her school. I don;t actually know what to do:-(

What does she say has happened?

What year is she in?

It really depends on why she has taken a step back. Trying to find out what`s going on for her will inform how you are going to help resolve the problem.

It maybe best to post this in chat or secondary education as it has more traffic.

Has the school broken up yet? If so, I would make an urgent appt. to see the Head, if not, ask the teacher to make time for a chat. You need to find out the reasons WHY this is happening. I'd try and approach it methodically ruling out potential issues as you go.
I was in your child's position at that age and couldn't have cared less if I was withdrawn from school, don't threaten it if you are not going to carry it through, and I can't imagine you think withdrawing and placing in a different school would improve the results, much more likely to make it worse. From what you say, the capability is there, but the will isn't. Have you ruled out the most common teenage potential work barriers (bullying, drugs, Internet chat rooms, new group of friends, etc....)
It's very hard to get to the bottom of it without nagging - do you normally have a very 'open' relationship?? What 'excuses' have been offered up so far??

It seems strange that all her subjects have been so badly affected over the past year.

Is she being bullied?
Has anything happened that could have distracted her from her studies?
Has her character changed?

Haven't her teachers discussed her drop in scores during the school year?

There must be some underlying issue, and rather than punish her I would talk to her and to her school about what is happening.

Does she work hard at school and at her homework?
If she does and despite this she isnt doing as well as she used to do I would be asking hte school why not/what is happening?

If she isnt trying, is bunking off, messing about, not doing her homework etc I would take her out of the school because she obviously isnt appreciating the privilege of something that you are struggling to afford.

Do you know why her grades have dropped? Presumably there is something behind this; you need to find out what it is before you can decide what to do.

What does she say about it?

Sorry, x-post with almost everyone; my connection went down

I don't know how the Private system works, at all, but i have a 14 year old in state education, so we're talking Yr 9 and GCSEs starting next year.. presumably it's the same?..

I can't understand why if your DD has been slipping over the past year, the school hasn't raised concerns with you prior to her report, and helped you to try to get to the bottom of it.. Hasn't there been a parents evening?

I echo what others have said, what does your DD say re. reasons?

It's an appalling lack of communication from school that you didn't know that this was happening until you got the end of year report. Did you not get any warning?
We get a report every term plus regular feedback from tutor at our bog standard comp. I assumed you got more for your money at private school?

If she has slipped so far there must be something more than the not unusual slacking you find in Year 8/9. Is it a boy? Health or friendship problems?

Have you tried talking to her?

What does YOUR DAUGHTER say has happened? And why are you ANGRY with her?

Something is obviously going very wrong in your child's life and neither her own mother or the people who are being payed thousands and thousands of pounds a year to provide her with an education (and presumably pastoral care as well) appear to have noticed.

you say she is below average in every single subject and then put (exam results) has she been on track all year and just failed to revise properly?

I would have thought if it was her performance across the year school would have told you either at parents evening, a termly grade slip or an email/telephone call. If not then you do need to have a word with the head of year/house to ask why the communication between home and school has broken down so dramatically.

I remember at age 14 I had one report covered in C's and D's but it was only that one, I usually had A's and B's on all my reports. It probably had something to do with there being too many other things going around my head, being tired, day dreaming and growing up all mixed up together.

Is your dd upset? I was very upset when I got that report and it hit me that I had to come back down to earth/reality and stop dreaming the next year. But don't punish her, talk to her, she's obviously clever and able to cope if she's always been in the top set.

How does she feel about it? If she's always been good academically she might well be mortified by the results and already determined to work much harder next year. You might not need to do anything beyond a mild expression of disappointment and making it clear that you'll support a renewed work effort. I would have been horrified by my parents' disappointment at that age.

Is she overcommitted in extra curricular stuff or anything like that? This is quite a common age to cut back on other commitments I think. Or is there friend/boy trouble? I remember 13/14 being the worst age really, really angsty and confusing and very bitchy at school. Horrible.

The teachers may also have made these end of year 9 exams quite tough on purpose to create a bit of focus for the start of GCSEs, though that doesn't in itself explain why she's found them more challenging (relative to her group) than she usually does.

I did the same as your dd and to this day I am privately proud of exploring the other end of the spectrum.

Maybe have a chat with her/school when you have calmed right down. Being 14 is all about pushing boundaries.

Below average in the school I work in would still be miles higher than the national average - the only important question is if she is making progress for HER.

At my school the girls in yr 9 have about 1-2 hours homework every night - has she been doing that? What's her evening routine like?

I have a yr 9 girl in an ok state school - she's doing fine for her and her attitude to learning is the most important thing - what's your dd's grades for 'attitude to learning' - that will give you some idea if shes doing her best and trying. My yr 9 isn't going to get better than C's probably as she's not that bright academically but I only care about her attitude to learning.