Looks like my boy has lost his place at uni. SO upset.

[PoshPaula]

My DS is aged 19 and he was a bit of an under-achiever at school - bright, but lazy. Always popular, and good-natured, and stylish etc. He does a bit of modelling (is signed to an agency) and is really sociable. Very outgoing. I was always worried that he was a bit feckless and never worked at anything, really, but I had faith that he'd be okay somehow. He started an Art Foundation course last Autumn and did well in his first term - he had achieved an A* in the subject at sixth form college and was enjoying Foundation. Imagine my delight and utter excitement when he was offered a conditional offer to study BA Fine Art (Photography) at Central Saint Martins!!! Since then he sorted out his place in halls, sorted his finance, I did notice that he disappeared to stay with friends for long periods but I trusted that he was attending college.... now he has told me that he has been referred, he hasn't passed Foundation, and he is unlikely to be accepted at CSM.

I am so upset I can't stop crying. I feel so disappointed. I also feel ashamed. (I've been a single mum to him and worked full time throughout; he and I have always had a good relationship).

He is worried now and upset but he admits he hardly attended college for the past few months. Has anyone else experienced a similar situation? I would appreciate some support and advice!

Yet again, I agree with FallenCaryatid. I don't think that he is ready - he wouldn't have coped and you would probably be having this conversation this time next year - a lot poorer. I expect that he would have had a great social life - the 'fantastic education' is probably the bit that would have suffered.

To make you feel better - DSs girlfriend dropped out of school in year 12 and got a job. After a year she decided - for herself- that it wasn't what she wanted so went to college and got the A'levels. She has just got a 2:1 at a top university. She was highly motivated - and ready- she wasn't at 18.

My brother dropped out of university at the end of the first year. He bumbled about in labouring jobs for a couple of years and then went to a different one, with a different subject and did well.

Some are ready at 18yrs to 'make their parents proud' - some need to mature a bit first. It does seem hard at the moment but it isn't the end.

To come back to the same point, Paula, are you sure there is no chance of a resubmit or an application to somewhere else?

Life at CSM would be very difficult for someone who is inclined to let things slide - they really do expect self motivation there - but there are other places where he would be more supported, if he were to get a place through clearing (clearing is now open, it's not just open after a level results day)

He was offered a place (on the spot, at interview) at Camberwell first, then later at CSM. I certainly think he then thought it was in the bag. I agree (though it pains me) that despite what I thought, and contrary to his confident and breezy persona, that he must actually be a lot less mature than I thought. Perhaps I read him wrong. I don't think he would be able to accept a lesser university at this stage - he's a bit 'snobbish' as many 19-year-olds are! I haven't spoken to him about this and am just leaving him to work things out at the moment. I actually feel exhausted (I've got two other kids aged 3.5 and nearly 2, and I work full time).