Teenagers and teachers

[wigglybeezer]

DS1 (14) is not getting on with his computing teacher. It sounds as though they got off on the wrong foot but DS as always refuses to see things from her point of view, see how his behaviour could be modified slightly to improve their relationship. Basically any teacher that is ever firm with him or critises his work or doesn't "get" him ( he can be a tricky character) is branded a freak or bitch/ stupid cow. This really upsets me mad I end up tying myself in knots attempting to be sympathetic to DS's anxieties about his work and trying to get him to understand his teachers and accept they won't all like him all the time and vice versa but that he has to get on with it.

Nothing is EVER his fault, which I find very hard to believe.

I sometimes have a similar sitution with DS. He gets on great with some (most) teachers and works well for them. BUT if he doesn't like them and/or thinks they don't like him, it's a different matter. I just keep reiterating that he won't like everyone in life, nor will everyone like him, and that he just has to learn to deal with it. He can sometimes seem to have a huge sense of entitlement and it drives me mad - there are 30 or so in the class, not just him, and he needs to realise that.

It'll help if your DP/DH/whoever, backs you up. DH tends to side with DS far too much for my liking but that's a whole other thread ...

Stick with it - hopefully they will get the message in the end.

Hadagutsful, I think we are reading from the same script.
He is talking about giving the subject up and it was previously his best subject, because of a tough couple of weeks. I know he has not been trying his hardest as he was distracted by an upcoming school trip.
DH tends to overreacted negatively to any problems DS1 has and then rants about him to me, excellent , two people shouting at me when I have been trying to help. Teenagers GRRRR.

Can I just say it's so refreshing to hear a parent who appreciates that their child doesn't always get it right? If I were you I would contact the teacher in question who will no doubt be thrilled to hear from you and eager to use your support. I would suggest a reconciliation meeting where both parties get to air their grievances (it's important that your DS says out loud what the problem is so that the teacher can explain their actions or dispel any misunderstandings) and make a plan for the future. Good luck. :)

It's life, some people you get on with, others you don't.

How many of us loved a particular subject, and 'happened' to get on really well with the teacher who taught it.

Wiggly I feel for you. DS loved science all the way through primary and into secondary school, until he came up against one particular teacher who he didn't get along with. Now he's lost interest and is convinced he's "no good" at science

I have no specific advice - sorry - but you're not on your own. It's bloody hard work isn't it and I do envy those couples who sing from the same hymn sheet - I'm sure it must make a difference!

Its very difficult once teens have got it into their head that they don't like a teacher or a teacher doesn't like them. DS (15) has complained for most of this term that his English teacher doesn't like him - I've seen no evidence of this in reality though. She has written a glowing report for him, she seemed very nice when we bumped into her in Sainsburys and she was more than happy with him at parents evening. If I say any of that though DS just says that "she's being patronising"

My reaction is to listen to his complaints but then be bright and breezy about it. She isn't marking his GCSE and he'll have someone else if he takes English A level and you can't like every teacher. DH just pulls this face

I think I may have taught some of your kids.

One technique we use is to be nice the the student we don't actually like - I know all students shoud be treated equally, and they are, but if you have one who will kick off if criticised it is better to either not criticise or do it gently (btw it would be constructive criticism of their work not them).