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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Just need to vent- idiot son

20 replies

sugarice · 01/07/2012 14:38

Just want to vent really. DS17 went to a party last night and wanted to take 9 cans of lager which he said he was paying for himself and purchased by his mate's Mum . DH and I were gobsmacked and then insistent that no way on earth was he drinking that amount and after some time and talking I said he could have 5 lowish alcohol [green Carlsberg] that we would purchase for him, we're realistic and know he'll drink regardless of what we say but I felt I had to be clear to him about limits.

Anyway he came home early this morning [stayed at mate's house] and went straight to bed, which should have started alarm bells ringing, 20 minutes later he's been sick all over the floor of his bedroom. I then find out he's drunk 8 cans, the extra one's which he got off a mate and he doesn't know what they were. Even worse is that this morning he got in a car driven by his mate who had also been drinking all night but who insisted felt fine to drive. I am beyond livid not just because he ignored what I said about limiting his alcohol but that he risked his safety and others by getting in that bloody car! What an idiot.

Everything we have spoken to him about, not drinking excessively and don't ever get in a car with a friend who's been drinking has gone in one ear and right out of the other.I always tell him to phone for a lift if he needs one. I asked him why he got in the car and he said he didn't give it a thought not to. I made him clean up his puke and he's sleeping it off. He's off to a festival Thursday for 3 days, I absolutely dread to think about it now.

I know there's Mums here who've got worse problems with their kids than my gripes but I'm so furious with him.

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Thumbwitch · 01/07/2012 14:40

I'm sure there are police videos out there of what happens to drunk drivers - might be an idea to show him some?

noddyholder · 01/07/2012 14:41

When they get to this age it is hard. My ds is 18 and did things like that once or twice when 16/17. I think you can just say you aren't happy/concerned etc but tbh its something they do and grow out of. I had some probs with ds at those years and I decided to take a very hands off approach in teh end and just remember he was my lovely son and was an ear when he wanted but allowed him to do his own thing a bit. It worked out for us xx

noddyholder · 01/07/2012 14:42

God didn't see bit about car! My ds is hugely anti drink driving

Thumbwitch · 01/07/2012 14:43

www.wusa9.com/news/article/197734/158/Teen-Records-Fatal-Drunk-Driving-Crash-As-It-Happens not a police one but a real one

Rezolution · 01/07/2012 14:44

I recently had to visit the compound where they store all the crashed cars in our area. Wow! That was frightening! I've been driving for many years but that place would scare anyone off! A young person just has not had the life experience to know what can happen as a result of their actions.
He needs a wake up call. The Police do have scarey dvd footage of accidents which they show at Driver Awareness Courses I believe. Maybe that would make him more aware.
I am really sorry for you. It makes you sound as if you are fussing over nothing when in fact you are just being sensible.

3littlefrogs · 01/07/2012 14:45

The drinking bit is par for the course. BUT, if I knew anyone was driving while still intoxicated I would be ringing the police with the Reg. number.

I know too many tragic stories.

GnocchiGnocchiWhosThere · 01/07/2012 14:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sugarice · 01/07/2012 14:55

Thanks all for the replies and Thumbwitch I'll show him that later.. He is a nice boy and a pleasure to have as a Son, generally sensible and considerate but very sociable and loves a party. He's been to a few in the past and not drunk a great deal that I'm aware of. It's his lack of judgement I'm now concerned about and having the ability to say no.

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noddyholder · 01/07/2012 15:09

My ds is a party animal too! Maybe just sit him down and make the car thing the focus.

MakesCakesWhenStressed · 01/07/2012 15:10

And you're going to let him go to the festival? No way in hell my mum would have allowed that after getting so drunk and getting in a car with a drunk driver!

All this to look forwards to in 17 years...

sugarice · 01/07/2012 15:30

Makes Cakes I'm not banning him from the festival, that isn't going to solve anything and certainly doesn't make me feel as if that would be the right thing to do. There's no driving involved getting themselves to the festival, dh is driving them there and picking them up because the friend was planning on driving until we suggested it wouldn't be a sensible thing to do . DS has to learn for himself not to be a prat.

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SecretSquirrels · 01/07/2012 17:27

I'd be fuming as well. Just when you think they have shown themselves to be sensible they do something like this.
I think I would sit him down and say you don't like the getting drunk / sick part but the really deadly serious stuff is getting in that friend's car. Is it realistic do you think to have a blanket ban on ever having a lift from a novice driver?
My DS is 16 and talks about "next year when I can drive" quite a lot. I've already said I won't want him giving (or taking) lifts until he has gained plenty of experience.

insancerre · 01/07/2012 17:33

secretsquirrels you can't realistically ban them from doing anything. They will just do it anyway.

noddyholder · 01/07/2012 17:39

I agree sugarice you do have to let them learn re alcohol. My ds was sick as a dog once on some fluorescent crap when he was 16 he wasn't even that drunk when he came in but threw up in the shower and stained the grout bright orange! So god knows what it did to the rest of him but he has never done it since and it was a far better deterrent than anything I could have come up with. For some reason I have found festivals the best place for them in teh summer! They are well policed and secure and they love it!

AdventuresWithVoles · 01/07/2012 17:43

Make sure he cleans up his own vomit.

uggmum · 01/07/2012 18:51

My dh was hit head-on by a drunk driver last week. He is really shaken, battered and bruised.

The driver of the other car and his passenger are still seriously ill in hospital. It was a serious accident and an air ambulance was required.

It just isn't worth the risk but teenagers are impulsive and do not think about their own mortality

SecretSquirrels · 01/07/2012 19:13

insancerre I just think that if you have specifically said don't do x,y or z it just might make them think twice.
Grin I know, I know but it's worth a try.

Thumbwitch · 02/07/2012 10:41

Wow, uggmum - hope your DH is ok, that's a dreadful thing to happen :(

Ilovepie · 02/07/2012 12:02

The drinking a few cans too much isn't that big a deal but the getting into a car with someone who may be over the limit is VERY BAD
How about telling him you will drug test him after the festival as you are no longer sure you can trust him?

sugarice · 02/07/2012 12:35

Uggmum I'm so sorry to hear about your dh's accident and hope him and the others recover.

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