Leaving teens alone

[WillIEverBeASizeTen]

What do you do with your teen when they don't want to be 'babysat'? Would you leave them on their own (if they were happy with that) I don't mean overnight etc. I quite often want to go shopping or meet up with a friend, and my DS who is nearly 15 will refuse to come or to be looked after, even by his Dad (we are separated) so what would you do? Do I resign myself to the house until he is old enough?

He is old enough

yes...you must stay with him at all times until he takes a wife, and then it'll be her problem.

I was leaving my teen alone (and looking after younger siblings) from the age of 13. Mainly during the day, or in the evening for school meetings only, but once or twice I went out for the evening (but was close by and easily contactable).

It depends on your teen I suppose, but at 15 I would have thought he was more than old enough to be home alone. Do you have specific worries about what he might get up to?

Really usual? I do leave him, but I always feel so guilty...a mothers curse I guess

I think he will be ok Will. He is more than old enough to be left.

15 is really pretty late to be left alone!

Personally, we left our ds from when he was 11 if we were going for a walk or a local drink, but if we were going into London or somewhere he'd still either have a babysitter or we'd arrange a sleepover.

From 13, he was happy to be left alone if we were going a fair distance away for say half a day. In the school holidays he was happy to be left alone or with a friend while I was at work (9 to 3).

From 15, he was travelling abroad alone, inc. changing planes in large airports. He was also babysitting children aged 3 and up. We'd leave him for a long weekend and he could be trusted to cook for himself and not have houseparties, just a friend or two for a sleepover.

From 16 he started training as a part time soldier.

He is a particularly mature lad, (now 17), still a part time soldier and studying for A levels. I know that they're not all as level headed as that, so you have to go by your own child.

No shift I have no issues about what he will get up to, I just feel like I should be here..like an earth mother with food on the stove..

Old enough to what? Vote? Get married? Join the Armed Forces?

I'm pretty sure most 15 year olds will survive in the house on their own for a bit.

OP, how does your ds feel about it? Chances are he loves being left alone with the house to himself.

mumble travelling abroad alone...that has given me food for thought..I guess I'm always fearing the worst will happen while I'm not around the corner. I do leave him when I go to work (have no choice) so I guess it's no different..I just feel guilty when I'm socialising and not working (I know..weird thought process )

Thank you all for your replies...

mumble he never has an issue, he prefers it to going anywhere really...and as I said, a sensible lad...probably wouldn't venture too far from the sofa anyway

At home, during the day, and he's happy to be left? He's more than old enough (providing there's no specific reason not mentioned for it to be iffy to leave him on his own)

I leave DS1 and 2 (14 and 12) home on inset days if I'm working and DD is still in school (so 8 til 4). You have to trust them at some stage, and leaving them in a safe environment for a few hours seems the best way to start. Does your DS make his own way to and from school, or go out with friends? I have to say I get more 'nervous' about the DSs going to the cinema alone than I do leaving them to trash the house

X posted with the last two posts.

You shouldn't feel guilty about having a life.

I didn't leave my (eldest) son alone until he was 12. Then one day during the school holidays, I had an important meeting I needed to go to, and no-one to look after him. It meant leaving him for 2-3 hours, and I stressed and stressed about it, until he pointed out that I let him play out without adult supervision for that amount of time... "And my own home is much safer, isn't it mum?!" I decided his logic was quite right!

So, unless you never let your son leave your sight - never let him go anywhere without you - I'd say leaving him home alone is fine! (And long before 15!)

Seriously WillIEBAS10 ?
My 10 yr old is happy here on her own while I go to the shops.
I'm happy to leave my 13 yr old looking after my 10 yr old when I have evening meetings. You need to start letting go - I'm amazed you are even asking this of a nearly 15 yr old!

I leave my DS2 (10) for 15 minutes in the morning. He locks up and goes to school.

At 15 DD1 was looking after her younger sisters when we went t out in the evening. They all stayed home on thier own for short periods from the age of 10.