My 14yo daughter has, until now, been mercifully un-interested in boyfriends, and spends much of her time being a shoulder to cry on for friends who are having relationship dramas. She's been very cheerful over the last few weeks, and last night finally told me that she's met someone she "really likes" via Tumblr. I know she has a site, and she gave me the address some time ago, so natch, I've checked it out - it's all about bands (she's into 'emo' music) and seems harmless. I know that she has various internet friends who she talks to, so this isn't necessarily a huge deal. She's also incredibly sensible.
She's very honest and open with me about all things, which I encourage by trying to be as calm and non-judgemental about teenage stuff as I possibly can. I am relieved that she feels she's been able to talk about this boy with me, and that she's taken all the right internet safety precautions etc. BUT they want to meet up. Boy is 16 and lives in another town about 100 miles away (phew!) and as she has a friend her age who merrily tells her parents she is staying at x friends for the weekend, then gets a train to see her boyfriend (!!) I'm even more relieved that my daughter has been so truthful. To encourage ongoing openness, hubby and I have agreed with her that she can meet up with him on the following conditions:
- The we take her.
- That they meet up in a cafe in public.
- That we will unobtrusively hover until he arrives, so we can ascertain that he is, indeed a teenage boy.
- That her phone stays on, and is answered, at ALL TIMES.
- That they stay in public places.
- That she, under NO circumstances, goes back to his house.
- That we meet him properly when we go to pick her up.
All that said, am I mad letting her do this? I know that I err on the side of being a liberal parent as a result of being brought up with very strict parents myself (and leaving home on my 16th birthday as a result)
If anyone has been through similar (or even if they haven't) I'd be very glad for any advice, thoughts etc.