Angry 13 yr old DSD

[Dontknowwhatidid]

This is the first time I have posted with this name, and I'm not sure whether I should have posted here or in step-parenting, but hopefully someone here can tell me what it is I've done wrong.

I went shopping today and bought a few cheap bits and pieces for my 13 yr old DSD. It was our weekend with her this week and all she did was complain to me that she had no decent clothes at our house. To be fair to her a lot of the clothes she keeps here are starting to get a bit worn out, but that is mainly because whenever we buy her anything new it goes straight to her mum's house, so it can be worn to death!

Anyway, tonight she popped in after school to pick up some things that she needed, and I gave her these clothes, fully expecting that they would go straight in her bag to go to her mums with her. Instead she started shouting at me for giving her the clothes, saying I should have given her them on Saturday (which would have been awkward as I only got them today). She looked at them and was really properly red in the face angry that the trousers I bought her werent from the shop she prefers and then she threw the clothes on the floor, shouting at me that I was so stupid and why couldn't I just buy her the ones that she liked.

I just walked off and left her to it (in fact I locked myself in the bathroom).
I just don't know what I did wrong, and it has really upset me.
We normally get along brilliantly, do loads of things together and have a good time. She does have a bit of a temper on her, which has been getting worse lately, but I have been putting that down to her age. She only tends to lose her temper with me, never her dad, so he doesn't see it, and isn't prepared to talk to her about it, unless he sees it, because he doesn't want her thinking she is taking sides.

I think that because I thought I had done something nice for her, and she was so personal about me when she lost her temper it has upset me more than it would normally, but I'm not sure how to deal with it, do just want some advice really - am I that awful, or is it just teenage hormones going wild?
I have taken the clothes from her room, and I'm not sure whether I should give them back next time she's here.

I didn't realise I had written so much - well done if you got to the end of that little rant

Oh HUG! They can be so bloody horrible, can't they?! It doesn't sound like you did anything 'wrong' (apart from breathing, of course ) and it sounds pretty normal - but you're still left reeling.
When my son has had these kind of tantrums, I find it takes me a day or two to recover, while he forgets all about it in about 15 mins!
She will probably think you're insane if you bring it up again at the weekend. If it were me, I would try to 'let it go' as much as poss - it probably isn't personal - and not mention anything at all. Leave her to bring up the subject of clothes if she wants to... At which point, you can say quite calmly (and preferably in front of your partner) "I bought them for you as a present, and you were so rude to me that you made me regret it. I'd like an apology, please, if you want the stuff" - and take it from there :)

Just wanted to say that this can happen with a DD just as easily.

If as you say you normally get on well, then I guess you probably need to let it go, but perhaps at a later stage just have a nice calm chat about manners and politeness, and an apology would be nice.

Your right this the age when hormones don't help, and their can be so much going on in their head about who and what is cool, they can get out of order.

I agree with flow4. Stroppiness and tantrums are common, but she's old enough to realise that she needs to make amends. Hope you get your mojo back soon. I personally wouldn't say anything about the clothes and wait and see how she is next week.