Lazy/disorganised ds going to uni - will it change him?

[Parttimeslave]

Hi. Bit of insight wanted from experienced mums with sons who've gone off to uni. I've got ds1 in his first year who's doing fine, naturally good with money (even manages to save some of his loan) and has coped really well.

Ds2 (17) (if he even goes to uni) would struggle to manage his finances - he is totally rubbish with money. The thought of him getting £3,000 loan all at once is horrifying!

He's lazy and selfish at home, like a lot of teenagers I imagine. Will do stuff if nagged to within an inch of him life etc. Has a Saturday job, thank god, which funds his very active social life, but most of his wages are gone in the first week!

Has anyone had a disorganised, rubbish with money, lazy, self-centred son come back from the first year at uni a changed person......please say yes someone!!

Teach him a few basic cooking skills, make sure he knows how to work a washing machine and leave him to it. He'll be an adult. A young and possibly hopeless adult, but we've all been that.

All I can say is on past experience with my daughter....NO! It won't really change him drastically. She is 22 and still disorganised at times, never catches the train she says she will be on etc One day i hope.....

Parttimeslave is he getting the maintenance loan or are you funding him? If he is getting the maintenance loan it will be paid into his bank account in 3 installments one for each term. Both DD1 and DD2 had to have thier own bank acounts as the student finance would not pay it into a parents account. They had student ones which meant they could have free overdrafts yes I know that might nean they were more likely to go into thier overdraft but at least they had a back up. DD1 didn't go into her overdraft at all. DD2 did in her second year as she had some equipment to buy. But neither of them ever asked us for extra money in fact DD2 woried about us paying some of her rent and says when she is earning a decent amount she'll pay it back.

We will pay his accommodation like we do for our ds1. He would have a loan for everything else. His ds1 gets it paid into his account 3 times a year and manages to save lots, but he is a different child and isn't as into clothes etc.

Judging by past experience, ds2 will have spent the whole lot in a month and I'll be damned if I'll give him anymore! He can try and get a job or just learn to manage his money better - she says hopefully!

DS got a small scholarship for his first year. Found out that spendthrift DS is broke becaused he put the money in an ISA so he couldn't get at it . Came home from work to find him doing his washing. So there is light at the end of the tunnel. Either that or I got someone else's DS back by mistake.

Parttimeslave. DD2 was very much like you DS2 before she went to uni. She spent any money she had bit she tried hard when she went and actually still managed to have a small amount of her loan left at the end of the first year. Although as I said she did spend more in her second year.