Bit of a nostalgic thread!
My eldest graduated and has a job, lives with her boyfriend and I feel I have 'finished' my parenting role. She does as she wants, I give opinions or advice when asked and otherwise just celebrate that she is happy and successful. I see her as an adult child very much. I'm needed to sort estate agent forms and to bring a bigger car for her to move furniture!
Next child is 3rd year uni, he pops home quite a bit (being a boy brings his washing!) and lives at home in the holidays. No girlfriend. I'm his washer woman and cook.
My next one is 1st year uni, in my eyes shes still my little girl but out alone in a big world! But I know I'm just being silly and she's actually a mature, confident, independent girl suriving just fine without me. Even does her own washing!!
She comes home about once a term and in the holidays, she loves uni and has started coming home less, ringing me less etc. I sense she isn't depending on me much anymore and it makes me sad!
She has grown up incredibly since uni, she started off calling every night and saying how much she misses me and home and asking 101 questions about my advice on essays or money etcetc. She now has to practially be dragged home! When shes here shes appreciative but suddenly I feel a sharp contrast from last year when I was dragging her out of bed, bossing her to tidy up and we would be arguing over how she would get home from X's party. Now she just sorts it all herself. Suddenly she is desperate to go out for meals with me and I'm actually told about her boy problems!
Final DD is still at school, few years to go before she even thinks about uni. However, shes recently got into the party culture and suddenly my little DD who would be asking if it was ok just to go shopping with a friend, is demanding I am her taxi driver and having teenage strops. She is no longer telling me about much that goes on, if shes worried or upset I don't get her crying on my knee, instead she is moody and I am normally told a few days later when its all over.
Had one of those moments tonight when I realised my children are all no longer my babies, we're in a new 'stage' of live where I'm gradually needed in new ways.
It is 10 years since my ex-husband moved out today. Ten years ago I had a 5 year old in her first year of school, a 9 year old girly girl obsessed with gymnastics, an 11 year old boy who I had to go and see the headmaster because he was selling sweets in the playground and a 15 year old girl who was always falling out with her friends or 'hanging' in town!
Look at them now!
It's scary-has anyone felt this and when? what triggered it?