Dd will not get up in the morning

[OhWesternWind]

and it is causing me huge problems as I am late for work three/four days a week in the probationary period for a new job. We are stuffed if I lose this job as I am a single parent.

I have tried calling her (result: abuse, no getting up), getting her to set her alarm clock (result: I wake up, ds wakes up, neighbours wake up, dd carries on sleeping), taking her covers off (result: she gets up and fetches them and goes back to sleep), taking her covers away (result: she covers up with her pillow and carries on sleeping), talking to her about how important it is that she gets up (result: she ignores me and carries on).

This morning she had to go to school with hair and teeth unbrushed as she was so late, but she doesn't care.

There is no medical reason for her not getting up, apart from she probably is tired as she will not go to sleep at a sensible time. She has a bedtime of 10 pm but is often awake in her room after this reading (no TV/computer in room).

Help! I am at my wits' end with this and really don't know what to do. This is getting serious as it is affecting my job.

11 is not 'nearly a teen'! It's still a child who would benefit from being in bed by 9 on a school day.

Sounds like she is going to bed too late.

I'm this is an 11 year old - thought it would be a mid teen.

Can you do more the night before. My DD age 10 catches bus at 7.30 and she does struggle in the mornings so we make sure everything is completely ready the night before, uniform, snack etc and even set the table for breakfast so that the minimum of effort is required in the morning.

I do run off with DS's duvet and sprinkle him with cold water etc but he is 16. DD I pick out of bed for a cuddle, she is just a little girl still.

My 12 yo is in bed for 9, lights out at 9:30. Bed by 10 is too late for an 11yo. Staying awake until 12 is just not on.

Let her have a late bedtime on Friday and Saturday nights, plus maybe a treat on Saturdays - icecream sundaes, DVD etc, on condition that she is up, dressed, breakfasted, teeth and hair brushed by 8:30ish. Set the finish time 10 minutes earlier than you need to so she can mess you around for 10 mins.

If she wont get out of bed on time, take 1/2 hour off bedtime permanently. so bedtime becomes 9:30. Next time....bedtime becomes 9am. Make sure she understands that the bedtime (which will cut into her TV/computer time) is linked to her waking time. Dont get angry about it. "You couldnt get up in time thismorning, so I think you need more sleep...."

Id also agree that she needs to understand how the household finances work.....sit down with her and show her where your money goes - utilities , food, rent, phone, petrol. Tot up all the essentials, and tell her how much you have left after paying for everything essential, and then start discussing all the expensive optionals....and let her know that all those nice treats are gone if her lateness means you lose your job.

My friend did this and her mum got the school to give her detentions if she was late. It did work, but it was done in a non-agressive way. The teacher always explained that it was to teach her that she couldn't get on in life if this continued, she was also explained to - as jubilucket says - the effect it was having on other people. Her mum did the same, but worked out together why she was feeling like staying up late/not getting up. The laptop kept her occupied, so it was left downstairs except at weekends. It was backed up with home consequences (confiscations etc), which of course the laptop featured in because - from my friend's own admission - it was something she really enjoyed.

Hope this helps.