How to tell if you have a teenager.

[orangeandlemons]

Just in case you didn't know:

You have empty cereal packets in cupboard.
Ditto milk bottles in fridge
Dirty dishes left on top of diswasher when it needs emptying (although usually mouldering in bedroom)
Disconnecting internet at 3.00am so you can get some sleep.
You are always being asked if you can lend a tenner which really means give as you never see it again.

Any more?

you learn to bite your tongue

You wonder ... what did I say?

line runner....apply draught excluder around the inside of the door frame. Difficult to flounce when your dramatic exit makes a phut rather than slam!!

Sorry off topic slightly as you were....

You are banned from rooms in the house you own.

You have to study for GCSEs so you can help them with their revision.

Even the dog won't enter some of the bedrooms.

You start wondering where all the glasses, cups, knives, forks, plates etc are...then find them, usually under an inch of mould or hidden in wardrobes etc. Nice.

You can't remember the last time they had a haircut.
All attempts at asking about school are met with "it's fine".
Remind them that Deodorant has a purpose.

You spend a small fortune on lynx. It seems to serve as a replacement for a shower.

You go through loaves of bread daily

Their bedroom takes on a unique aroma.

BBK. Wait until A Levels lol! I could write an A level text book on Suffragism, and another on Parliamentary Reform. Am now officially stunned by my knowledge in this area

Oooh nice tip, Bossy. I think my house is actually now structurally unsound because of all the door slamming. (Two teenagers, plus me to be fair.)

you have to google text messages to understand what they say
for example mon kl yh: does anyone know what that means?

there is never any food in the house

you feel as if you need to buy a blackbery as the only way they communicate is bbm
words are as rare as food.

dh has to hide his aftershave as 13 year old boys dont understand moderation

mon kl yh

On Monday, do let's have a ceilidh at your house.

No?

You have no money. I am often tempted to give dd my debit card and tell her to give me a fiver if she can - it would be easier.

Never any hairspray, hair clips, deodorant, soap, shampoo, socks, perfume, razors.

Crap music like You Me At Six played at hyper decibels. Mixed up with 'random' songs from groups like Five Star and Martika which is played in an 'ironic' way.

Jokes I don't get.

Crisp packets down the side of the sofa and in jeans pockets because it is too much trouble to go to the bin.

Any clothes which are not borrowed are laughed at for being despicable in her eyes.

I love her dearly. Never a dull moment.

When they deign to come shopping with you, you have to bend down and get things off the low shelves because their skinny jeans are too tight to move in.

You are pondering buying hairspray in bulk.

Mon kl yh actually means- is Monday cool? Which meant football match is on Monday mum can you pick me up after work?

I had to call him to ask what the text meant.

My dd puts kk instead of ok in a text-why??
It's the same number of letters! How much harder is it to put o instead of k??

Annunziata, yes, but then they pick stuff off the very top shelf for old ladies without even having to go on tiptoes

You start wondering where all the glasses, cups, knives, forks, plates etc are...then find them, usually under an inch of mould or hidden in wardrobes etc Oh yes. I gave in and went and bought a load of extra cutlery and plates and bowls, but I still never have any in the kitchen Am very of yours being on top of the dishwasher.

You spend ££££ on petrol "just" dropping them here, there and everywhere, then picking them up later. Oh, and their mates (none of whose parents seem to have cars )

Mine has had 5 years of being screamed at about dirty dishes in bedroom. That is why they are on but never in dishwasher. Having said that, there are still a million in bedroom.

Possibly most disgusting thing dd did, was put his dirty plates in an empty pizza box and shove it under his bed when he was entertaining a young lady.
Cue frantic screamy disgusted ranting from me The box was full of bits of pizza, and the plates were full of wasted food. The smell..................

Your home starts to resemble Central Perk as their friends take up residence and eat your biscuits.

you wonder what you did to offend them

you know they will only grunt if you ask them a question then cry because they think you are prying , ( i only asked what she had for lunch : ) )

everything is a drama even putting plates away ,

saying all that they do grow out of it , dd1 is squeezing the last of her teen strops out they are few andfar between now ,

oh if they could put securicor on their mobiles they would , but seeing as mobiles seem to be attached to them like a 3 limb we have no chance of having a nosy .

My 14 yr old DD is actually alright im wondering if the teen thing is going to bite me on the arse soon ? shes great fun and only strops for a little DD1 could go on for days ,

another 1 i have had recently is they dont want to go with you anywhere but when you go anywhere they go all offended maybe thats just mine , oh god i do love her but she is erm a challange

They are still sitting in their pj's while playing on xbox at 2.26 in the afternoon