13 yo sexting and sending naked pictures to 23 yo

[Lilypad90]

Hi,
Truth be told i am not a mum, or over 18, i am 13. I have been best friends with a girl for 10 years and she has had 'things' with guys for years (she is 13) She is very secrative about her phone and one day she left it while she went to the toilet and my friends looked at her phone. I was not a part of this at all and i was angry at them for invading her privacy but they found loads of sexts and naked pictures that a guy about 10 years older than her, he had kept on asking her to take them and Evntually she caved in, she sent him about 10 pictures and he sent her one. i dont know what to do because he is a total creep but i dont want to do the wrong thing and get her into trouble. I dont want him to send them around our school because eventhough he left ages ago he still knows a lot of people. Please help! I decided to post this on mn as i want to hear an adults opinion on what to because i am stuck.
Thank you

(I'll try that again with links that actually work - sorry)

Lilypad, I agree you should tell someone. You are being a really good friend by doing this :)

If you have his mobile number, I think you can report him online here:
www.ceop.police.uk/Ceop-Report/

This page gives you some other info that might be useful:
www.childline.org.uk/Explore/OnlineSafety/Pages/Sexting.aspx

Lily I have sent you another message, take your time to read through your thread again.

You have had some really good advice.

she has had 'things' with guys for years (she is 13)

Tell her school as BrianButterfield says.

And report his number if you have it to CEOP.

He is probably doing this to a lot of girls, not just your friend.

Why , Ponders? I can think of 13-year-old girls I know who fit that description. Of course, it usually means men have realised there is a vulnerable girl who is easy to take advantage of.

And just because the friend has told the op she has had "things" with guys for years doesn't mean it is necessarily true......

It does sound like she has been groomed into sending the pictures and as math said, I worry how many girls he has or is doing this to

None of us are really in a position to speculate about the specifics, but the advice given to the Lilypad is good, and suitable regardless of the finer details.

Your friend wont know it is you, because you have said that a few people know about this. Any of them could have done this. not neccesarily true.

If you know his name and address you can call crimestoppers and make an annonymous report. Do it with an adult at your side so they can say you are serious (just thinking a young voice might need backup)

Then they can arrest him and see what pictures he has. Sorry but he probably has photos of other children, and he might have sent your friend's pics to other men. The police then have to find out who the pictures are off, so they will come to tell your friend and her parents, but they can be very discrete (it is one of the few occasions they are.)

You are a good friend and incredibly sensible. Make a report.

Ponders you know what to do if you have thoughts.

Hi

I've not read through all the messages but wondered if anyone had recommended or if your school has the SHARP system?

A number of schools have this system and it's a good way of raising concern with appropriate adults, without having to leave any personal details (no one would need to know it was you).

This system is monitored by senior staff in schools and they would deal with the situation appropriately i.e. inform the police, school mentors, parents etc.

You can report anything that concerns you in school via the SHARP system and know in many schools it very effective.

My daughter was exactly in your position a few years ago. She told me, i told mumsnet and the advice was to go to the police, so i did. Her 12 year old friend had pictures of herself in her undies on the internet and was sexting with a couple of guys in their late teens/early 20s.

The police were very helpful, the girl and her mum were visited by plain clothes police officers and social work, i have no idea what happened to the men involved, but the important thing was that the girl didnt have to lie or conceal things from her mum any longer.

I think your mum would be really proud of you for telling her (i was exceptionally proud of my daughter for being such a caring friend) & if you asked your mum to go to the police, rather than to your friends mum, do you think she would? I know that keeping your friends trust and your anonymity is important, but not as important as this sleaze grooming your friend. If you think your mum would go straight to your friends mum & you dont want that (i can see how delicate this is) then the advise to tell a teacher is your next best option...

And i agree with everyone else. Youre a great friend & really mature. :) youre going to do the right thing.