Eating disorder/anorexia/weird eating?

[binth]

In a bit of a state over as to what to do. My 17yr old dd does not eat. She has lost a lot of weight with her jewelerry and bracelets/watch that once fitted her now hanging loosely of her wrists. Her collarbones are seriously jutting out. She has made it clear that she's not anorexic and does not think she is fat yet just 'doesn't like food'. I keep saying 'force yourself' and 'only you can help yourself' but she just gets annoyed saying i don't understand. I just don't see how taking her to a doctor with a doctor telling her what foods she 'should' be eating is going to make her better! She has said she wants to eat more and she's sick of not eating properly but doesn't ever try to try other foods. Her diet consists of a cup of tea for brkfast, 2 choc bars in day and whatever 'normal' dinner i can give her she will eat some chicken or pasta as long as very plain., She told me her weight, she was abit embarassed but said it was 7.5 stone and her height is 5ft8 which makes her according to bmi 16! which is underweight. Any suggestions? I just don't see how anyone can help her apart from herself

I make your daughter's BMI more like 15.5. My friend's daughter's BMI hovered around this for about a year while she was receiving out-patient treatment for bulimia, but it recently dropped below 15 and she was admitted to a specialist eating disorder unit at a psychiatric hospital for longish term care (3-6 months). My friend was told that at that low weight, she was at risk of organ failure as well as the better know risks to her immune system, infertility, risks of malnutrition and vitamin deficiency, etc. So your daughter's weight is definitely a cause for concern... I don't know what they're doing with/for my friend's daughter in hospital, but it's working: she has been in for 4-5 weeks, and she has gained about 14 pounds. One thing that does seem clear is that people with eating disorders rarely can 'help themselves' so it is definitely a good idea for her to get some outside help.

Here are a couple of resources that might be useful:
NHS BMI calculator (Gives you guidance afterwards, not just a number).
NHS intro to eating disorders

Ok thanks so much. Will see what i can do, her school are also concerned because had a number of phone calls

Try the B-EAT website, it's very practical and useful. It will help you say the right things to the GP so that he/she takes it seriously. Have you thought of contacting the school nurse? They are often used to recognising eating disorders. Is she ok in other ways? She may not be anorexic, but finding it difficult to eat because she is worried about something.

Yeah i have thought about it i know she is close with a certain teacher who she has spoken about this with. I don't really know what it is because as far as i know there have been nothing significant that could have triggered this

Just had a thought... It doesn't really sound like what you described, but just to rule it out... She isn't constantly thirsty is she? My brother developed type 1 diabetes around adolescence, and his weight dropped to 4.5 stone very quickly before he was diagnosed.

Follow your instinct and take her to the docs. They will test her for non eating disorder causes of weight loss too such as crohns and things you dont think off. Then they may refer her to a dietician , counsellor and moniter her. She may not think she has a problem but she has. Sometimes it takes a professional to point thing out. Or get her to see Superfat/Superskinny- alot of slim women who are like her-not being sick or bulemic but just dont eat enough. It won't be easy but in the long run its for her best.

The school nurse gave mine an eating disorder by weighing and measure her and tell her she was a but plump.
Some are better than others it would be good to find out what you have available to you before ask for their assistance.

Most anorexics are obsessed with control & with food. Oddly enough, many are excellent cooks & love thinking about food. They also tend to try to "hide" their disease by dressing in a distinctive way & pretending to eat much more than they have. Many love to study their bodies for signs of excess fat (in their distorted vision). Many exercise to excess & calorie count like crazy.

She doesn't sound at all like that. She sounds perhaps stressed & maybe she could have one of the rare anemias or another health condition to explain lack of appetite. My cousin had something like that & the pressure "you must be anorexic" was very hard on her, went on for many years, until they found her utterly bizarre & unpredictable health problem (a benign tumour wrapped around her esophagus!).

So what I would think to do is talk to her about how her weight is unhealthy so let's get a medical opinion about why she doesn't like food, what isn't working right in her body. I would approach it as a physiological not mental problem. Gives her back the control if she thinks she's seeking medical attention to make sure she's as healthy & strong as she should be.

My daughter was diagnosed last July with anorexia. She actually came to us and said that she thought she had it. We took her to Doctors and she was referred to youth services. By the end of the week she was in hospital for tests and after that we had family counselling every week. I just wanted to let you know that there is light at the end of the tunnel She has now gained the 2 stones that she lost (BMI was 15). It has been hard and we've had ups and downs, but things are a lot better now. Please try to get her to the doctors, because I dont know where we'd be if we hadn't got her referred.

Wanted to let you all know she's been to see a doc/pysch. and she didn't really tell me what happened during it but from what i understand lots of ocd-related food behaviours etc. She is going back soon. Thnks so much for all your help!

I am so glad you have sought help. Anorexia can cause serious organ damage very quickly and it rarely gets better on its own. You sound like you may be in good hands now. Please never let her struggle alone with this. Look at the Maudsley method. If its not anorexia, then you still need to see a doc to figure out what is causing the loss of appetite and weight.