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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Anyone else suffering with Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde teenagers?

6 replies

silver73 · 01/04/2012 11:18

I'm at my wits end with DS (nearly 17). For the past week we have had to endure shouting, insulting, throwing things around his room and banging his fist on his desk in temper when he does not get his own way. The last two days have been even worse.

There is no reason for it. He is doing well at school, has lots of outside interests, a nice girlfriend, lots of lovely friends and a good social life. The problem is that he wants his own way all the time and acts disgustingly if he does not get it. He won't go to bed at a reasonable hour then wakes up tired and gets very nasty. He also wants to come and go as he pleases and wants us to give him money whenever he wants it without doing anything for it. We cannot afford this and don't believe in just giving out money. We are also very much regretting getting him a blackberry and a contract as it has made things worse. I promised it to him if he did very well in his January AS levels which he did. We have tried to get him to leave the blackberry alone while revising but no go there...

However, this morning I get woken up by the loveliest boy. Would I like a cup of tea? He is just off to do his volunteering and when he gets back he will get on with his revision for a few hours and then he is off to a party.

Does anyone else have this mercurial behaviour?

OP posts:
MedusaIsHavingABadHairDay · 01/04/2012 13:36

Yes yes and yes again!

EVen when my DS1 was at his MOST hideous (the stealing, smoking weed, wall smashing variety) he was utterly polite and charming to other people's parents and everyone thought he was such a nice lad Hmm..while we got the vile behaviour and massive attitude.

However he is finally becoming more even tempered at home now (he's 19)

To a lesser extent the girls were/are the same.. my eldest is at Uni and I'm SURE she doesn't throw a 2 yr old style paddy every 10 minutes there..but she still does at home when she can't find her clothes/phone etc

Repeat the mantra 'it will pass' !!:)

I'd encourage him to get a job tho.. I couldn't afford to sub my bunch (4 teens) and they have all had to find jobs..they are out there, and it really helps with their awareness of how money does't grow on trees:)

silver73 · 01/04/2012 14:18

Medusa I am so pleased it is not just us going through this. I spoke to him this morning about getting a job and he is going to try. I will take comfort that it is a stage as I know there is a lovely kind decent young man in there somewhere although I don't see much of it at the moment.

Maybe the odd moments of seeing the decent young men they will become is there to keep us going when things are really bad....

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Dizzymare25 · 01/04/2012 19:25

im so glad that I saw this thread - I was looking on here as I have a similar situation with my daughter. We have always been very close but I could just sit and cry (and often do) as I get very hurt by her attitude to us. I know that really it is all part of growing up - and it doesnt help that I am pre menopausal and so very sensitive but my head just spins. Somedays she is so bubbly and chatty and tells me everything that is going on at school and with her friends.. and other days she wont hardly acknowledge me and if I then question her on it - she accuses me of putting her in a bad mood by "going on"..... I have two older boys and didnt really experience this. I would say though Silver73 that I found there was a sort of gradual morphing between the age of about 18 - 21 whereby they turned gradually into human beings .. so there is light at the end of the tunnel:)

flow4 · 02/04/2012 00:51

Yup. It's exhausting and confusing and upsetting, isn't it? Confused :(

silver73 · 02/04/2012 12:39

Thanks everyone it makes me feel so much better that this is normal teenage behaviour even though at the time I get very shocked and upset at the extremes of mood, shouting, insults etc. I love mumsnet it just puts things into perspective x

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gettingsorted · 02/04/2012 20:33

I feel so much better since posting on here! Here I am at my wits end, in tears wondering what the hell happened to my lovely little boy, then the next minute reading about someone elses ds, and me giving advice! You're dead right, it's perspective.

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