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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Why does she seem to be on another planet??

12 replies

boschy · 29/03/2012 11:17

DD2 will be 13 in two weeks time. Reasonably normal, well-adjusted, doesnt smoke/drink/take drugs/have sex etc etc etc, behaves well at school and at home, school marks are ok, lots of nice friends, so all should be fine yes?

BUT... she is so bloody vague and airy-fairy, it is driving us insane!! For example:

  • got her a phone top-up last week; happened to ask her yesterday if she had her phone as was Orange Weds and we went to the cinema. "oh yeah" she says "the top-up didnt work and I forgot to tell you". So she has not had a working phone for a week; has lost the top-up slip so that's £10 down the drain
  • she has 4 rabbits. every night she has to get them in from their runs and return them to the hutches with food/water etc. EVERY night she has to be reminded 3 or 4 times to do it before it gets too dark and then when she comes in has to be reminded whether she has filled up water/given enough hay etc

We can tell her something - about something we might do at the weekend or something - and 10 minutes later it'll be 'oh I forgot that' or that she never knew something blindingly obvious that has been going on for donkey's years...

It's worrying me because I seem to be constantly on her case nagging about day to day stuff. It's as if she's living in some kind of dream world or parallel universe most of the time... is this normal for the age? Am I stressing unnecessarily? DD1 who is 15 is so completely sorted and on the ball about things, I know I shouldnt compare them - and maybe it's a deliberate strategy on DD2's part to be different - but it's actually beginning to affect day to day life.

OP posts:
mousymouseafraidofdogs · 29/03/2012 11:19

sorry to say, but she sounds absolutely normal.

belgo · 29/03/2012 11:22

Yes she does sound normal but what are the consequences to her behaviour? Eg. what happened to her phone after she lost the top up slip?

startail · 29/03/2012 11:28

Living in a dream sounds normal to me, I do. DD1 does, although she's getting better (she's 14). She and I both have to be reminded about things several times and write every thing down.

It's painfully organised DD2 I find odd.
And far more irritating when she does forget things because I don't expect to have to tell her. Reminding DD1 is just on auto pilot.

noddyholder · 29/03/2012 11:29

Becasue she is! She is on Planet MEME and will be there for a few years to come Grin

boschy · 29/03/2012 11:34

oh dear, she IS normal then?!! that's what I was afraid of... I will have to try not to bark like a sarnt-major when she forgets something then.

consequences for losing the top-up slip where just me shrieking like a banshee really... then I bought another top-up so that a. we could get the half price cinema tickets and b. I knew she had a working phone

OP posts:
shhhgobacktosleep · 29/03/2012 11:34

I could have written your post myself. I have 15yr old twins and they drive me to distraction with this vague behaviour. As is your dd they are good kids in terms of school, manners, non smoking/drinking/drug taking/sex etc which makes me feel unreasonable when I moan about it but by God they make me want to scream and bang my head off hard objects with this inability to use their brains for simple everyday tasks.

boschy · 29/03/2012 11:35

oh yes shhhh it's so painful at times!

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 29/03/2012 11:36

Yes-she is on the same planet as my DS1! Thirteen in June.

Entry requirements to planet-

Vagueness
Forgetfulness
Able to lose stuff on a regular basis
Able to forget to turn their phone on/charge it up.

And others I will think of.

I am told it will improve. Grin

Hassled · 29/03/2012 11:40

There's no pattern or logic to this - my DC2 was the focused, organised teenager, and DC1 was the dippy one (nowadays he holds down an actual job and travels and shit - it still amazes me - so they clearly grow out of it).

I remember my late father ringing once and DS1 answering - they had a bit of a chat and then I spoke to my father. He said "I was telling him about when we arrive for Christmas - he sounded like he was only dimly aware that there was such a thing as Christmas" :o.

boschy · 29/03/2012 13:04

Mind you, ask her anything about OneDirection and she's bang on it :o
so there must be a brain in there somewhere

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 29/03/2012 13:07

That's true boschy. DS is a mine of information regarding Top Gear and Football. Grin

gingeroots · 30/03/2012 12:08

my son has all these symptoms ,I'm afraid they're related to over involvement with screens ...

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