At a bit of a loss as how to handle the situation with my 15 year old DS.
Last week he took some over age DVDs that belong to my partner ( step father to DS for last 6 years). He has been asked not to take them many times before and he watches them when he should be sleeping, then leaves them uncovered around his room. For this he was given the choice - pots for a week ( he always does them on a monday anyway as part of his normal chores) or take away his beloved X Box for the week. He opted for the X Box. Monday came and he refused to do the pots, or even clear his plate because he said he shouldn't need to as he had chosen to give up his X Box. We thought this wasn't right and insisted he do the (very few) pots, or he loses his laptop for the week too. He hadn't done them by the next day and his laptop was taken.
At this he has behaved terribly for the last week. Pots have been broken, things thrown dow the stairs leaving dents in the wall, and most worryingly he has fitted locks to his bedroom door and taken our property ( sky card, phone chargers, computer leads, keys). He was not coming down for meals, just grabbing quick things for himself, and banging about in his room until way past normal bedtimes. Yesterday he refused to get up for school and locked himself in his room.
I sought help from the school and took advice fron the parent support worker to just try to talk to him. This I did and we discussed ( with me doing most of the talking as he wasn't sharing much) that he has some issues both at home and school. As the week was up, property was exchanged, and we were a bit more friendly to each other,even having a hug (he's not hugged me in ages). All this was whilst my partner was working.
So what do i do now? He has gone to school today, but still has the locks on his door ( i've caught a glimpse of writing on the walls iside, so goodness knows what state his room is in ). My partner has been calm and controlled all week , but it has taken all his patience. He feels we should give him a punishment for how he has behaved- more sanctions, or perhaps paying for the damages. I feel things have all gone too far for that and we need peace and lots of talking. Am I being too soft? How would you handle this?