is it normal/healthy for GF and BF to text each other every single day ?

[weemumbelina]

Even though they see each other at school and date once a week? DD is 15 and BF is 17 btw. DD thinks that it's presumed that if you're going out with someone you should be "in communication" with them every day.

Mo, I was going to admit to this too so I'm glad you did first

Do you think we're too old?!

I would worry if I didn't get a continual update from DP. However mundane the details, it's important to us I suppose...tis a big old world out there. I like to know when he's on his tea break.

and he is usually the one who starts it!

Never too old to text, I say. Although DH is a little slow at it and can often only manage a few words! He's away this weekend and although I've not had a text today, I've had 2 phone calls and expecting another around 7'ish and a goodnight text before bed!

Sadly normal, just because the technology exists and parents are forced powerless, or willing to pay for it. 30 years ago, I remember my father commenting on the "inconsequential" conversations that his children were having after school, on the telephone, in the hall, with people they had seen all day. In his day he wrote letters. It's the technology and the fact that young people are being shamelessly exploited, which puts such pressure onto parents and therefore normalising it.

Thankyou for reassuring me that this is typical teenage behaviour. BF began the texting today. I'm so pleased that DD has enough restraint to wait for him to start it at least sometimes.
BusinessTrills and Driftwood999, I agree that it's excessive nevertheless. It's good to know I'm not the only person who isn't happy to 'let teenagers be teenagers' all the time.
I think I'll insist that she has a text-free day once a week. She has given up eating snacks in the evening after dinner for lent. I'm proud to say that she's stuck to her pledge so far. Next year, boyfriend or no boyfriend I'll be strongly encouraging her to give up/cut down on texting for lent.

Driftwood, I'm really interested in your comment that, "young people are being shamelessly exploited". How do you mean?

weemumbelina, through advertising and the wider media. Reinforced by peer pressure. Obviously that applies to all age groups, but the young are especially vulnerable.

I think you're right that she has a ticket for Dumpsville.

Her desperation to have a return text is probably not healthy, but that is what the teen years are for -- you live and you learn how to conduct yourself. Hopefully she will learn at some point that being a little unavailable makes you more of a challenge and keeps a bf interested. Neediness is never going to go down well.

I don't think having your child available to contact 24/7 is a bad thing, nor do I see anyone really objecting to the fact that children are no longer hogging the family phone all night. Cellphones are not all exploitation..

im in contact with dh every day

not sure whats wrong with that

in fact i would suggst that if you wern't = it would be weird.

Totally normal. I've spent most of the afternoon with my sister and since I got home around 50 messages have passed between us. I'd text dp but he's old and boring and doesn't text back.

Mo - mine too, he was a text virgin when we met. He says he's only ever done it for me

What an honour. I can't always work out what he meant to say, but it's always nice to get them.

Funny thing is, texts have only really ever got me into bad feeling/misunderstandings with men who didn't understand me anyway. We understand each other by text and the rest of the time, so it isn't, for once, a terrible way to contact each other. Only once he misunderstood something I said but that was fairly easy to sort out. Mainly it works fine.

Custy - me too. My last bloke hardly ever answered my texts and that was so disappointing, every time. And we never really got off the ground. I think when they care about you, they want to communicate.

Driftwood - we did that too, the phone calls after school - my best friend and I would talk sometimes for three hours in the evening, just lying on the floor, giggling, or languishing halfway up the stairs, and just laughing at nothing at all. You do that at that age, you're just living totally in each other's pockets.

It's great

Er, I do it with my best friend too! We're both on Facebook, we're both on MN and we live 100 yards from each other, but we can still spent an hour at a time on the phone to each other, laughing and giggling and putting the world to rights!

Of course it's normal for 2 young people to text each other! My younger dd and her bf are in constant touch. He texts first thing to say good morning and last thing at night to say good night. She goes swimming and always has a text when she gets out ready and waiting for her.

You should think yourself lucky that she doesn't sit on the phone for 3 hours every night talking to him, like I did. I can't imagine what our phone bill used to be like particularly as if I wasn't on the phone to my bf, my brother was talking to his gf. Remember the phone locks? My dad bought one, but it was difficult to fit it onto a trimphone - lol.

i think its normal. me and dh text one another incessantly and have done for many years.

your best bet is not to interfere and let her text away, if she does get dumped she will learn a valuble lesson. Its not nice but its part of the learning process,and she will come out all the more stronger for it. She will learn to control herself i think. you cant cotton ball them forever :)

Well i do. Im fairly normal. And not a teenager.

Its no different to texting your dh every day considering you live with him and nearly all couples do that.

"nearly all couples do that". Text each other throughout the day? Really? I'm amazed at that. My DH and I only text to make arrangements. He's at his work. I don't think he'd appreciate me texting him and I couldn't be bothered with it anyway. Maybe middle-age is getting the better of us!
I wonder if my DD is insecure in her relationship (for whatever reason ) with her BF. I think it's a pity she spends so much time thinking about him....She's only 15 after all and pulled in so many directions, what with her upcoming exams, hobby - which she hopes to make a career in, other things she's taken on and being nicely-dressed, well-groomed girly etc. I'm sure it's usually her who starts the texting the BF (though he seems very keen to see her). He's dyslexic btw.

I think you're over thinking this texting thing.

It's just another phase of DD's life that she has to see through. There are just as many phases of a teenager, as there are of a toddler.

And fwiw, I think it's a shame that you don't text your DH! You never know, it might rekindle something you'd forgotten you'd got together!

YABU, of course it is normal. It's great they are so close...unless it is sex texts of course

I'm pretty sure it's not 'sex texts'. Though she did comment today that she'd been stroking his (very hairy) legs to see if she could make the hairs all lie in the same direction! Apparently he didn't like it! Lol. They organise their dates by text - a very inefficient method. He doesn't like speaking on the phone, according to DD. Eh? I wonder why?

Gosh - you are thinking very deeply about this. I don't much like talking on the phone - it doesn't mean I am odd, it's just my personal preference. Just let them text - so long as you don't have to pay for them what's the problem?

Figroll, I overthink everything. It drives even me mad! I'm so glad we didn't have mobile phones and social networking sites when I was a teenager. I'd never have coped with it.

Not to any one specific girlfriend, but ds (15) is texting all the time. He has 5000 a month on his contract and always uses them all. This is at the same time as being on FB, some kind of messaging thing they do with webcams, twitter, and goodness knows what else. Oh, and he spends a lot of time with friends too - he's not one to be sitting in night after night. I think all the texting is odd, but it's what they do, so, in teenage years, it's pretty normal.