I'm pretty sure my DD is depressed

[stephrick]

DD started A levels in September, since then has been more quiet, I know she is scratching herself with a pin (perhaps a pre cutting stage) she did go to the doctor, but I had to wait in the waiting room, so I don't know what was discussed. I have spoken to her tutor, and she has been very upset about continuing Math, I don't want her to carry on with Math if it's causing her so much anxiety. I have talked with her, to let her know that it's all her choice, and that the most important thing is to be happy in what you do, but is it enough?

I have had depression after the death of my partner, and I know the signs. There is alot more to it I know, she hasn't seen her father for 2 years, and he rarely phones, I encourage her to phone him, but she needs him to call her. I know I should badger him, but she wants him to want to. He has a new family (not his child) and this really irks her. I'm trying to be all things to her but it's hard. I don't want him to know all about the scratching because he will go on flip mode, which will make it worse(he may be a social worker but when it comes to his kids he hasn't a clue).

Not sure what to say but didn't want you to think noone had read or not sympathised.

Can you ask her father to call on the basis that all teenagers need others to take the initiative?

My DD went through a fortunately brief and half-hearted stage of cutting about a year ago. I went to the GP who managed to get a referral to the CAMHS. It took a while but the counselling has been very helpful.

I understand your frustration at not really knowing what's going on. My DD says it's important for her that she goes to the sessions alone (we're out in the sticks so it's a bit of a trek by train) and doesn't talk about it if she doesn't want to.

We have a similar situation - it never occurs to her dad to contact her and she desperately wants him to make an effort. We're on a bit of a rollercoaster with her moods but I occasionally see a hint of the girls she used to be. Depression is a horrible thing to see in your child - I've really struggled myself this past year, not knowing how to help her. Good luck.

I think you should ask the GP to refer her to CAMHS before things get any worse tbh.

Re her dad, I'd phone him, tell him she really would like to see him or speak to him regularly and that you're concerned that she's depressed. You don't have to tell him about the cutting if he's going to over react.

My ds and dh live in the same house and even so I occasionally have to remind dh to spend some time with ds. He now takes him out for a meal once a month to catch up which isn't ideal (I'd rather he took him out for a drink down the pub once a week for an hour) but it's better than nothing.

Agree with the CAHMS referral. My dd is seeing them for similar issues and it is helping.

Another in agreement with referral to CAMHS. My daughter tried to cut herself then came to her senses. I still believe she has some anxiety, but mindfulness training with CAMHS was extremely helpful.

Sorry I need to reword what I said. My daughter attempted to cut herself then panicked and came to me in tears. Didnt mean it to sound so flippant.

Good luck with your daughter OP.

thank you all, but what or who is CAMHS?

Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service.