how would you feel if...

[threekidsfourcats]

ds1 lives with his gf at her parents house and ds2 (17) goes and sees them several times a week often staying over. we all get on well, but have just been told that the mother told ds2 that he can go live there aswel for 30.00 a week which she wont take off him till he finds a job!!!.....this has upset and tbh really annoyed me, do you think it was right of this mother to tell him this
prior to putting it past me first, havent spoken to him about it yet as the way i feel i would probably tell him to go, but dont expect me to pay your pocket, petrol money or your bike insurance anymore...grrrrr so livid am i being unreasonable or would you be the same...

I would be hurt tbh and would prefer them at home

I'd be wondering if she wanted the dog too! She's been very cheeky IMO.

Very thoughtless of her. Apart from any other considerations it will surely complicate everything if/when your DS and his GF split up. I would be hurt too.

I would be seriously wondering what she was thinking. Lovely though your sons may be, why would she be encouraging stealing them?

What happens if ds1 splits up with his gf? Mind you, that is the least of it! Tell her to get her mitts off your sons!

I'd be put out as well. If she wasn't joking (and maybe she wasn't, but that would be my first thought), she should obviously have spoken to you first.

I'd be fuming. How dare she. Id also be asking my ds what they tell her, as why would she just offer to have both of your children from you?
£30 a week isnt enough for any real financial gain for her, as it would barely cover food, and utilities. What does she get from this?
Yes great that they all get along so well, but telling them they can live there, unless they have asked is unreasonable.

I think it could just be a joke. DS's best mate practically lives in our house, he eats here 4 or 5 nights a week and when I kick him out at 10pm to go home, he says stuff like, but I am home!

His mum describes him as our stray cat and tells us not to feed him so well.

Could you ask to move in for £30 a week too? Then you could rent your home out and make loads of money. She might even do your laundry for you as well!

Without knowing any more details and from what you've said, I think it's out of order.

I think dexter's advice is excellent though!