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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

the now the are no longer teens thread. can we have one?

19 replies

2shoes · 16/03/2012 16:50

I miss posting about ds in teens, dd is still a teen but as she has sn I rarely post about her in this topic.
ds is 20 and I need a home, anyone else?

OP posts:

SecretSquirrels · 16/03/2012 17:47

Well mine are still teens but if you have a 20 year old DS I'm sure you will have plenty of experience and advice for the rest of us who are still learning .

webwiz · 16/03/2012 18:18

Well DD1 is 20 and I'm still here! DD2 is 18 and DS is 15 so I can't be booted out yet.

mumeeee · 17/03/2012 10:52

Well my youngest is 20 and I still post on here sometimes.

MedusaIsHavingABadHairDay · 17/03/2012 11:13

My eldest DD turned 20 recently...but she refuses to leave her teens and has decided she is twenteen I am going with that!!

lazymum99 · 17/03/2012 16:21

My eldest turned 20 about 6 months ago and I'm still here and often refer to him as though he is still in his teens. He acts no differently to when he was 19! He still refers to himself as a teenager, I think 'we' have a slight problem with growing up! I do have a 17 year old still so I suppose this section is still legal.
Since my 20 year old behaves no differently to a couple of years ago I think this section is still appropriate.

mumeeee · 19/03/2012 18:34

DD2 also decided she was twenteen when she turned 20. She's now 22 and still says she's not a grown up yet.

RattusNorvegicus · 19/03/2012 18:52

Mine are 23, 20 & 13. I can't get shot of them though! One is jobless 18 months out of university and the other works but doesn't have enough money to move out. I'd like to hear from others who are coping with unemployed offspring.

tunaday · 22/03/2012 19:59

You've read my mind! I was just thinking the same thing. I have posted before in 'relationships' about concerns I've had with dd. We've had a rocky old time since she was 18 starting with the death of her grandma followed by our divorce and subsequent arrest/prison-sentence of her father. She also has colitis and has had boyfriend probs. So although she's now an adult she is always my dd and times when she asks for my input. At times I still feel as out of my depth as I did when she was younger. So yes please I'd love a place where parents of older teens or adults (because we never stop being parents) could support one another. On the occasions I have posted I've had amazingly helpful and insightful responses so I'm not complaining. But somewhere 'specific' would be great :)

gingeroots · 23/03/2012 16:11

Oh yes please .
Mine will be 20 in the summer but ...going on 17 compared to anyone else I know .

gettingalifenow · 23/03/2012 18:29

Great idea - although I still think of the 21 year old as a teenager tbh.... Until he leaves home, he'll have that badge....

Jellykat · 23/03/2012 19:23

Rattus If you're still about - i'll talk unemployed having been to uni offspring with you..
DS1 (23) despite working hard to get a First, has a part time job as a waiter which he knows he was lucky to get, but he's angry and down especially as most of his wealthier peers went on to internships...

I have a 14 yr old, about to choose his GCSE options, and i am trying so hard to be optimistic and encouraging- but like you, i know the realities.

crazynanna · 23/03/2012 19:28

ds is 28...dd is 26...but dd2 is 13 but give it a few years.

RattusNorvegicus · 23/03/2012 22:41

Hi Jellykat - it's hard to keep them going isn't it? DD1 worked really hard, it didn't come naturally, and she got a good degree. She's had part time work and unpaid internships but has now hit a wall. She's a quiet girl who has managed to get through interviews until....role play. She hates it and doesn't do well. At the interview for a graduate scheme with a large insurance company she was told she was the most qualified person in the room, but was 'too quiet.' She also failed to get a job in Asda because of the dreaded role play.
She is being treated for stress and anxiety and the doctor's been fab, giving her breathing techniques for interviews etc. Hope your son keeps going. DD has friends from Oxford uni who went on to do masters who are now working unpaid in shops to get their jobseekers allowance. Not many of her friends have ended up in their chosen fields, and most have gone on to masters just to delay the inevitable. Ds however, scraped through his A levels (didn't read any set texts for Eng lit, how did that happen?!)and has walked straight from school into a job!

Jellykat · 23/03/2012 23:17

Wow well done to your DS Rattus! That must be some relief..

I completely agree that it's hard to keep them going, they did everything right, worked hard and ended up with nothing. So bad for their self esteem, and yes, DS is considering a Masters.. I told him it would at least keep his brain functioning!

His part time work is making him ill. The man who owns the restaurant is doing a lot of illegal things re. paying his employers, refusing to write references or give P45s to anyone who wants to leave etc etc.. DS has threatened to report him but is aware they will all lose their jobs if he gets shut down. He 'sofa surfed' for 6 months and has only just found a room to rent, he needs the money.

All we can do is keep our fingers crossed really, and try to keep them positive isn't it?

Can your DD go on something like a local self esteem/assertiveness course just to give her a boost?

Original poster

2shoes · 23/03/2012 23:20

have hope. it took ds 18 months or there abouts to get a job(ok no uni though) it is so hard watching them keep get knock backs.

OP posts:

RattusNorvegicus · 24/03/2012 13:14

Thanks both. She's seeing someone at the doctors every week who is very good. They've done time lines of her life and identified when she was at her most confident. He's done lots of relaxation and confidence boosting activities with her. I know once she gets a job she'll do well because underneath the quiet exterior there's a determined person who works hard. Got to do this all over again with the nearly 14 year old! Just tackled GCSE choices again. Your ds is in a difficult position isn't he Jellykat? I hope all turns out well for him. And I'm glad your ds eventually found work 2shoes, it gives me hope!

Jellykat · 24/03/2012 20:36

Ah thank you Rattus! and i hope your DD1 gets to where she deserves to be x

mathanxiety · 28/03/2012 19:41

Oldest DD is almost 22 and has got a job waiting for her after she graduates this summer. Some of her friends are still looking. She feels very lucky. DS is almost 19 so getting there. He is at university and will be for a while. Still in the thick of it with the other 3 DDs.

lilmamma · 01/04/2012 21:10

oldest 30,with 2 babies,he lives in colorodo and done very well for himself,i was a single mum with him and sooo very proud of him :)

next 20,training for his security badge to work on the trains and also works in a pub as a bar tender,he loves that job so much :)

next 18,and a mum to a 14 month old,who lives with us ,she is at college and done her 1st year just about,training to be a chef and silver service waitress :)

last one is nearly 14,and still at school :) he is a good lad..

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