Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Demotivated teenager doing AS levels

11 replies

tootsgirleen · 14/03/2012 11:54

I have a 16 year old who has just done badly in his AS level and has not lost all motivation to even continue in college. He says he did study but I have my doubts he didnt do more than just read his work a few times. How can I motivate him to continue as his predicted grades are much higher than he actually got. We have told him he can leave at the end of the first year but he needs to do his AS exams and resits. Do you think that is the right thing to say to him? We just feel that to leave know is a waste of the time and effort he has done already and there is only a couple of months left anyhow.

I should say that my eldest who is just 18 did the same last year, got bad AS grades, got really demotivated and actually became depressed and left college last March. Since then he has been at home doing nothing. He has suffered from anxiety and illnesses ever since and has not motivation to do anything.

I am just worried that this is happening again with my second son.

A very stressed and worried mother

OP posts:
Vaffanculo · 14/03/2012 11:57

I wouldn't have told him he could leave at all, no. How is he going to get any work with hardly any education to speak of?

I hope somebody is along with some concrete suggestions, because I do feel for you- all I can think of though is not to allow them to bum around.

mumblechum1 · 14/03/2012 12:37

Presumably these were just modules that he has the results for? My ds has just got a D in his biology module and is going to have to resit, but lots of people in his class (grammar school so in theory not thick), got equally rubbish marks.

I think you should be talking tohis head of year about resits for what ever he's failed at so far, and agree that he should be encouraged to carry on to the end of A2s, albeit dropping one of his subjects.

It's really hard to motivate them when they fail, but surely he can see how dropping out has affected his brother, and wants to avoid that>?

Original poster
tootsgirleen · 14/03/2012 12:55

They were modules that he had results for last week. They have until today to order the resits, but last night and this morning he is saying he doesnt want to do the resits and wants to leave. I notice from the colleges online portal that he hasnt gone in today! However, unknown to him I have today ordered the resits for him, as I reckon (am hoping) that after he has had time to think through everything he will realise he needs to do them.

He does say that I will end up like DS1 and get a dead-end job, but at the minute this doesnt seem to be helping him.

He did have a period of demotivation just before Christmas but seemed to pick up again this year until the results.

Kids hey, who ever said they would be easy :-)

OP posts:
mumblechum1 · 14/03/2012 13:44

Shit I haven't done anything about resits, didn't realise the deadline was today... must get on to school now.

moomimi · 14/03/2012 14:01

I am in exactly the same situation-17 year old son is very bright but is not putting any work into his A levels. At this age you cant just sit them at the kitchen table and make them do the work! I am so worried about what the future holds for him.

IloveJudgeJudy · 15/03/2012 11:52

I would say, yes, you can leave, but as soon as you leave education you have to start paying rent. I'm sure that would make him think. We discussed various situations with DS1 who isn't thinking of leaving school, but we did say that if he left he would have to pay rent. He was completely shocked.

ginge74 · 15/03/2012 18:11

I'm finding that whatever I say to my 14yr old doesn't help and he is more likely to listen to another adult that he respects and doesn't find 'out of touch or embarrasing' like me or his dad. Maybe this might help you, maybe an uncle, aunt that they think is cool or even one of your friends that they like. Failing that try and take him to careers office at a local collage rather than one at school that is generally a teacher, and probably one he doesn't like! hope this helps alittle x

Mumofthreeteens · 22/03/2012 15:20

My ds failed his biology As he took in January and has done pretty dreadfully in his mocks for Economics, PE and English Lit and Lang. He breaks up next Friday then the exams start within the month of getting back. An A in French A'level (already taken) and predicted C, D, E and a U are hardly going to get him into a decent Uni! It is too depressing.....

Selks · 22/03/2012 15:24

Bribery worked for me. My parents told me that if I put my back into my A levels (donkey's years ago) they would buy me an inter-rail card for the following summer and turn a blind eye to the fact that I was going with my boyfriend. I did, and they did, so we were both happy! Grin

Geranium3 · 22/03/2012 15:36

I know how you are feeling toots but don't really know how to advise you. I do feel by age 16 they need to be taking responsibility but it is sooo frustrating to watch as a parent. What about your eldest son thinking of doing a degree with OU,open university, i've just received the prospectus and it looks great and students do not need A'levels.Good luck!

moretolifethanthis · 27/03/2012 09:58

Hi tootsgirleen, I really feel for you as my 16 year old son had been doing badly in his AS work in school only gaining D's, E's and a U. I suggested looking at apprenticeships as there are a number around and so he sent his cv off (good practise!) and was invited for an interview and to take IT and basic skills tests. This work was to be with an E-commerce firm. However, the computers went down and he couldn't do the test! He thought that was a joke as this would have been the place where he did his IT training!!
Also the qualification was only a NVQ2 which tbh is not as good as the AS levels he is taking now. He realised he needed to stay on.
I contacted the school and asked for more help from his teachers. Some responded to my Email and are pro-active -I'm still waiting for one teacher to respond one month down the line! My son is also seeing a student counsellor to help with his motivation. Result? He has gained B's and mostly A's in his work. I am hoping he is sufficiently motivated to revise hard enough for his AS's soon.
Anyway, what I want to say to you that things can improve but it probably won't be over-night. He has to see the harsh realities of the world but also that there is hope; he needs encouragement to stay on not to quit. His employers will want to see that he is not a quitter!! I'm sure you've thought of this too.
He needs a few more heart to hearts possibly. Also, you could monitor his revision meanwhile with the exams being iminent. Definitely get in touch with his school.
Hope this helps :)

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread