Quick - need an answer asap!! 15 year olds and festivals , yay or nay?

[Slambang]

Ds wants desperastely to go to a festival, camping for the weekend with friends all 15 years old. Some have got tickets already. Ds is on the site now with his own hard earned cash (paper round).

All under 16s must be accompanied by an adult at all times according to the festival rules. Friend's 18 year old brother is prepared to 'get them in' but I have no doubt he will take absolutely no actual position of responsibility.

Ds is hard working. Very sensible and doesn't drink. His friends are 'good kids' and will probably be fine.

Head says let him go. Heart says he is too young and as his mum it's my job to say no to a Bad Idea.

Ds says it's the only thing he has ever wanted to do in his whole life and his chance to show me I can trust him.

Help!

Which festival is it?

Leeds

Has he or any of the friends been to a festival before??

I know Leeds/Reading are the move 'livlier' of the festivals and would be quite a baptism for someone not used to festivals.

I've never been there so can't comment for certain - sorry.

If you'd said Latitude then I'd have said go for it - quite a good entry level festival - no trouble.

ds has given me a list of 7 friends (4 girls) who are all going and already have tickets. Am I the only parent with qualms about this?

Are they really going or are they still nagging their parents??

Also what would he do if (1) trouble kicked off (2) if he got refused entry because he's underage??

I was 16 when I went to my first festival and it was Reading. Mother didn't want me to go, (mavellous) Pops trusted my judgement and I had earned the money and bought the ticket so off I went. It was awesome, and I was fine.
Its pretty easy to avoid the trouble, and there always is a bit of pulling down lights / blowing up toilets etc. I continued going to Reading or Leeds for 10 years and never had a problem.
Tell him not to set up camp near toilets or footpaths, carry his valuables with him and sleep with them at the foot of his sleeping bag away from the door, not to wonder around at night on his own (and particularly watch out for any girls in the group for this), its very uncommon / unlucky but you get that many people together there is bound to be a few dickheads bad apples. There is always loads of security and pretty easy to get assistance if you need it.
Oh and ample baby wipes, it really is disgusting.

Zippy - exactly the questions I've just asked ds. Ds is adamant that they are all definitely going (and they were also allowed to go last year unaccompanied too). I thought I was a liberal parent but obviously I'm a bit Victorian in comparison.

His response to the being refused entry question is that it wont happen .

Trouble kicking off - he avoid/ will get out of the area etc etc

I've tried to compromise on saying he can go for just the day but the camping bit is apparently crucial.

Other points - friend's brother hasn't directly said to ds that he'll get him in. (Just 'it's OK because X says that Y said that he would'). I've said no way unless he speaks to him directly and big brother agrees.

ime this is always split right down the middle - some parents let their teens go at this age and some don't.

I live in Leeds and the common response I get from friends and from the 18-25 year olds that work for me is for god's sake don't let your teenager go to Leedsfest!

there is trouble every year, lots of drugs despite the security, lots of theft etc etc

sometimes if you are in a crowd and it kicks off you can't just walk away, if 8 of them are going and only your DC wants to walk away -is he going to walk away by himself?
15 year olds drinking in the sun get ill very quickly -even if he doesn't drink, could he cope if his mates get like that?

DS1 went to Reading for the first time last year after GCSEs. He says, yes it's a hard festival, big learning curve when you're there. They did have people try and break into their tent. He needs to go with a big group, or at least try and not be by himself. Agrees with endof about not camping near the footpaths or the toilets. He's just got to be aware.

Really, you know your own child. Is he up to this? I knew that DS1 is pretty streetwise so, although I obviously had a few qualms (who wouldn't - it is my PFB after all ) I was pretty happy to let him go. I know that one particular friend of his, his mother was texting him all the time, but I didn't text DS once, nor did he text me. We watched it on the BBC sometimes and I did actually see him. DS1 had a fantastic time and has just booked his ticket for this year.

We bought him a body belt that someone did try and open while it was on his body, so DS1 just left that area.

However, it's V festival evidently where people throw pee into the crowd, not Reading.

I've been to many festivals, and would say yes to many but not Leeds or Reading I'm afraid. Lots of thuggery. Spate of tents being set on fire etc.

What school year is he and what age will he and his friends be when they go? I thought they all went to Wakestock post-GCSEs?

I went to my first festival at 19. I love festivals. I got up to a lot of mischief and was very streetwise. There is no chance I would let my DDs go to a festival until they were 18. If they were so adamant about going I would agree if I was the adult accompanying them. What is wrong with waiting anyway?
Don't give into peer pressure (other kids parents) decide based on the maturity of your own son. There is a reason under 18s are supposed to be accompanied by an adult.

Leeds is not as bad as it used to be, I am (fairly reliably) informed

I wibbled about letting DS2 go to V at 15, 4 years ago, & several people then said that Leeds was a bit wild in comparison - anyway he went to V, & the following year went to Leeds with a huge gang of schoolfriends, & both were absolutely fine

Saying no doesn't mean you don't trust him. I'm sure he can be trusted, but there are thousands of strangers who will be there who you don't trust. If he's so mature he will understand and wait until he's older. If he goes crazy he's clearly too immature and you were right to put your foot down as a caring responsible parent!

Ooh I like that Harecare. I need to print it out for when my DC's are older.

I went to my first festival at 17. I survived well enough but I'd camped before and been to gigs.

Is your DS Y11? I'd probably say yes if he is - Leeds and Reading are packed full of school leavers. If he's reasonably sensible he'll be fine. If he's Y10 it'd be a no an wait for next year although I might allow a day trip.

DS went to Reading festival (same line up and set up as Leeds) at similar age and was OK (but is disabled and had tent in special disabled area which is much smaller and better patrolled than main event). However, he made two subsequent visits when older with different friends and camped in main area -- lots of problems with tents being set on fire, plus lots of thieving and his wallet was nicked. General view amongst his peers is that Reading has got nastier and less friendly over the years. Your DS needs to be streetwise, with a big group and OK at dealing with trouble (which there will be).

Thank you everyone.

I have out read all your answers both pro and con to ds. They have made him think - especially JudgeJudy's story of a body belt being opened while being worn .

And he has bought a ticket ...

With much trepidation I have agreed, with lots of provisos about the 'responsible' adult. I really don't know if I have done the right thing in fact I know I haven't but if nothing else I will make bloody sure that ds will be the most well prepared, security conscious festival goer in my power to make.

And if all else fails, he has paid the extra so he can sell back the ticket if plans change (or I lose my nerve).

I would let him go.

I've been to Reading loads of times & took my dcs along when they were 12/13, then my DS went last year without adults with a group of his friends aged 15/16 and they were fine, he had a wonderful time.(He is also very sensible and doesn't drink either)

It's incredibly easy to get in if you're underage - you just tag along with someone who looks 18. Once you're in, no-one asks you where your adult is - it's too busy.

No aerosols/camping gas is allowed now so dangerous exploding campfires are a thing of the past thankfully. Make sure he only takes stuff he's prepared not to bring back as theft from tents is pretty rife, although security has been really stepped up in the last few years.

Oh thanks malovitt - I was bracing myself for a slating for letting him go. Massive relief that not everybody thinks he's going to be mugged/burnt in a tent fire/ peed on/vomited on/ drugged and that he actually might have fun.