Teenagers alone for weekend

[Jenny70]

My kids are all 8 and under, so not sure if I am still in "child zone" rather than "teen zone".

I have just found out close friend is leaving her teenagers (16 and 17) home alone all weekend, every weekend. She has a hobby that takes her around the country, and I gather she feels "tied" to kids all week ferrying them about and feels she wants the weekends off. The kids are pretty responsible overall, but as teenagers have obviously done stupid things at various times which weren't thought through.

Previously their step dad was with them, but I have just found out they separated a few months ago, and although he is still in their lives he isn't around at home anymore. Their Dad is also in contact with them, but lives too far away to be any practical support for weekends etc.

They live in a tiny village (no local shop even, but next village does have basic shop) with no bus to nearest local big town (about 20min drive away), and neither drive so basically they are stuck at home all weekend unless step dad comes to take them somewhere or they have friends who can drive/get lifts detour to their village etc.

I feel like I should talk to her about it, I think she should be supporting them until they actually leave home and go to uni/get jobs (or leave school at least). I also feel it was her choice to choose this tiny village, but then her family are stuck with the consequences and she isn't even around to support them.

Kids seem happy enough, but older boy is injured at the moment from silly-night-out-with-friends-gone-wrong experience a few weeks back ... not sure whether they contacted Mum over this, or step dad took over.

Should I call her about this? Or am I being too judgemental?

Not sure what business it is of yours, but to be helpful you could say 'when you are away, let the kids know that I'm around if they want anything, or if they want dropping anywhere'

I was left on my own for a great many weekends from the age of 16. I absolutely loved it. Had a mate to stay. had my boyfriend to stay, was left with a fridge of food, money, contact numbers etc. I worked on Saturdays, got myself up and out etc.

I think it's totally acceptable.

I have friends (travellers) who used to routinely leave a 16 or 17yo alone at home for 4-5 weeks. With a car or on the bus route, mind, but not sure that's the issue. Even a 16yo can ring a taxi.

I never worried about the teen's safety, but I did smirk a bit at the parents' astonishment & outrage each time they came home to find... the house a tip, the lawn hadn't been mown, piles of laundry, pets with unclean cages, occasional comment from neighbours about parties (I think they were jolly lucky it was only the odd comment about the parties).

I think sticky beak out, OP. They're old enough for council flats in middle of nowhere villages, too.

Well, as you can legally get married from the age of 16, I'm not really sure what you want her to do!

surely they dont need babysitting at that age .. my DC's would love for me to be away at weekends so they can have some freedom lol

OK, that's why I posted, because I haven't got teens (yet) it seems "wrong", but I can accept they are quasi adults and seem happy with the arrangement.... so I will leave them to it.

I may call the Mum and check she is OK with the split etc, but won't mention the home alone thing....

Thanks, that's why I wanted the feedback.

To be fair, Jenny, I still have qualms about leaving my 17 yo DS on his own, although I know he is more than capable of looking after himself. My concern is about him inviting people over - and the solution to that is to ask a friend of mind who lives a few doors down to pop in occasionally. He knows that she is likely to do this - and may also come late at night too (she doesn't go to bed until the early hours), and so it keeps him on his toes!

I certainly wouldn't be leaving him every weekend, but that's me. Your friend has obviously decided that her DC are going to be OK on their own.

We left DS1 alone for a week for the first time when he was 16. He was sensible. He has a phone. He can cook and look after himself.

Of course I worried. But by the time he was 17 he then did a cycling trip for three weeks across the alps. They grow up. You have to help them by letting them

My eldest is 15 and half and he works Saturday mornings I am begining to think that later on this year I may consider leaving him at home overnight if he wants to on the odd occasion. He is sensible and ok. (except for school work but that is a differnt battle)