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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Mental Health issue in 16yo ? Advice on where to go next ???

3 replies

Tillyboo · 08/03/2012 15:20

Hi,
I went to see the doctor today to support my sister as her daughter, in an angry fit of rage, last night showed her mum some 'cutting marks' of self harming on her forearm. For a long time now my sister has had difficulties with my niece:

  1. Refusing to go to school
  2. Getting angry & upset if things don't go the way she wants e.g. hair, make-up, facing things that's she's uncomfortable with, general life stuff
  3. Anger issues, sometimes resulting in physicality toward her mum & sister
  4. Refusing to go to college interviews when they've been arranged
  5. Starting a retail job & 3 weeks later leaving with no explanation as to why ?
  6. refuses to talk about what is bothering her and why she gets angry
  7. Refuses to look for a job/ go to Connexions etc.
  8. Refuses any offer of professional help - she's completely unwilling to seek any help or go & talk to anyone, whether it be family, friends or a professional

Social Services are being none to helpful because she won't voluntarily seek help. GP is lovely but his hands are tied too.

So, where do we go from here ? The GP has written a referral to SS for my niece but that's just to ask for them to contact my sister and speak with her - no promise of any help etc.

Has anyone else been through this and can offer any advice at all. Where can we go from here ? We were told today that if my niece does something more serious to herself and because she's refused to seek any help, that it would be her parents responsibility.

My sister is at her wits end and very tearful and scared for her daughter. She's tried talking to her and asked her to write down her worries or what's bothering her if she can't vocalise it but all she says is 'You don't understand !!!' But we don't know what it is that's causing this behaviour so how can we start to understand ??
HELP !!!!!

OP posts:
Brightspark1 · 08/03/2012 16:04

As you can see from my post of yesterday (end of tether) I'm in much the same position, except we are getting help from Camhs. None of which is doing much good as DD refuses to engage with the people trying to support her. It almost seems as if she despises me for caring. I can't offer any advice l except my support. BTW you sound very caring, you are doing a lot for your sister by listening to her and being there for her. Dry her tears and give her a hug.

Tillyboo · 08/03/2012 23:05

Hi brightspark, I'm sorry you're going through similar. My niece is refusing to go/ see anyone which is our difficulty. The GP has written a referral letter to CAMHS in order for them to contact my sister to hopefully offer any advice etc as a start.
I'm not holding out much hope there. But, I have also been given the contact details of a local free counselling service who I intend to call tomorrow - but of course we're still stuck with the situation of actually getting her there let alone engage her with a counsellor.
I wish you all the very best, truly !

OP posts:
Brightspark1 · 09/03/2012 19:56

I have found the care from camhs very good, and I feel they are doing their best, but it's difficult when she won't cooperate. Trouble is, they aren't around at 1 in the morning when she is cutting herself or running round the house.
The only time she'll talk is when we are in the car, or walking. It might be worth trying to talk to her in when out of the house, it seems less confrontational. Tell her how worried you are, that you hate to see her so unhappy and reassure her that you love her. Good luck, and try notto give up- easier said than done though.

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