Anyone else have a difficult preteen !!!

[6692mumof3]

My ds2 is 13 next month (if he lives that long ) he is so difficult to deal with .... very awkard , cheeky , shouts, mood swings , attitude in bagfulls he becomes like a dog with a bone over things wont leave something alone till he's created an argument ,loves to wind his younger brother up actually smirks with enjoyment causes trouble with his older brother etc etc etc i just dont know what i can do with him it breaks my heart he used to be such a lovely boy but now he just winds me up and causes so much unhappiness in the house . I have a ds 15 and even though he has had his moments during the last few years nothing like this. I feel its my fault maybe i havent given him enough attention thats certainly what he says he feels like we always let the others offwhile he gets all the blame but partly the reason is he does start the trouble . Im just at a loss as how to go about dealing with him we take his xbox off him phone etc and he improves for a while then its back to same old thing again shouting and arguments in the house . I just want to have a happy house :( . Any suggestons would be great thanks

Rings a bell! I had the same with my son at that age. Teenage frustrations/hormones and all that. Hang in there and stop blaiming yourself because it's a natural part of growing up and he's probably unable to fathom it out himself. He will grow out of it eventually.

Be strong. Don't bite at the wind-ups and don't give him responses to argue with. Always offer him choices; "You can either stop arguing or you can leave the room...your choice"

Keep a close eye on his friendships meanwhile. My son used to hang with some undesirables and did things I wouldn't approve of but I realised he was stretching his wings and trying out his independence. I didn't diss the friends but took a great interest so as to prevent him from becoming secretive (also natural). I repeatedly said, "You know right from wrong...keep yourself safe"

There were only a couple of times where I had to sit him down and say "Not acceptable; this family doesn't do that" and made him make amends.

As big as he acted I knew he still wanted me to keep him safe.

It was tiring at the time but he's turned out to be a lovely, caring, sensitive young man.

My daughter had her moments too.