Healthy attitude to snacks and teenage boys!

[andisa]

Despite, home cooked, healthy food served at home and plenty of fruit and veg, my 15 DS wants to eat too many biscuits and says all his friends do. We have taken to keeping them out of his sight to help him be moderate, he says this makes him worse. So this week we tried, in discussion with him, his own biscuits for a week. He opened them and ate 7 custard creams and said this s nothing, his friends eat whole packets every day at school.

How do we help him with this rebelliousness that is starting bad habits? Any idea? Meantime, we'll keep trying!

I don't know much about teenagers and am no expert on nutrition, but I wonder if 7 biscuits as a snack is 'too many' for a teenage boy who is eating a varied healthy diet?
DS is 9 and eats about 3 or 4 when he has biscuits as a snack. But he wouldn't have biscuits as a snack at every snack time.
For me, it would only be a problem if it was just before a meal or if the child was overweight or if he only snacked on biscuits.

DS is hugely handsome and a little bit chubby. Loves his food and snacking - we want to help him to be a bit more moderate and it is not easy!

DS is 15 and I let him self regulate with snacks - I think by putting them out of sight you are making an issue of eating biscuits that wouldn't be there if he could have as many as he likes. Once something is forbidden it would make me want to eat it more .

Perhaps a relaxing of the rules but keeping up the healthy eating message or have something as an alternative. DS has been known to come in from school and have a very large bowl of soup with lots of bread and still be ready to eat his evening meal later. He is one the skinny side though so he obviously needs the calories. Is your DS still growing?

My 16 yr old ds is built like a house and eats like a pig! He's quite fit and sporty but I do hide snacks or he will simply eat the lot.

He has been hiding sweets in his room for years. I genuinely don't believe he is hungry when he helps himself to 3 packets of crisps just after dinner - greed and maybe boredom have something to do with it.

I will continue to hide stuff until he leaves home!!

I have the same problem with DS (15) who just cannot self regulate when there are biscuits in the house. I now only buy one pack a week that I put in the cupboard for him and multiple bars of chocolate for me which I hide where he won't find them and when its gone its gone. DS is also fussy about crisp brands so it helps the crisps last longer if I buy the types he doesn't like - he doesn't eat them - so IMO he can't actually be hungry!!! He is skinny at the moment and does quite a lot of exercise, but I worry that if his uncontrollable habit continues, he will be the size of a house as soon as he leaves home to go to Uni.
He moans like mad when there is nothing 'nice' in the cupboard, but I just direct him to the fruit bowl or he makes himself a toastie if he really is hungry - otherwise he doesn't bother and goes & sulks in his room.

I think at this age it is partly boredom and partly hunger. I don't know what the solution is - if they are at home and the cupboards aren't stocked with unhealthy things, then they can't eat them - but at this age they are 'free range' and you can't legislate for what they eat when they are out. Thankfully we live 12 miles away from Mcd or BK and the nearest chippy is 5 miles away - so at least we don't have that problem!

Big blue bus sounds like my house. DS is very sporty and generally active - will eat healthy . Don't want an issue with junk/treat foods but feel eventhough his weight is fine, slightly chubby or built bit more like a rugby player, is still growing big time, he can't just eat more than he needs, think his metabolism can't take that.

As mentioned here, I fear at uni. he might go over top and not self regulate. Don't want to ban foods but want him to be sensible. Feels tricky balance to win! Any more ideas/experiences , please post.

DS (18) still eats me out of house and home just as he did from about age 13 on. He is about 12.5 stone, 5'9ish and looks just a bit better covered than a stick figure. I think his weight is mostly muscle and bones, and he has big feet. He puts away about five eggs a day, a mound of pancakes or two bowls of cereal, fruit juice, sausages for breakfast, and eats about half of what I cook for dinner for five of us when he's home from college. His friends do likewise. The parents in the house where they all hang out together buy huge quantities of snack foods and fizzy drinks. I buy them a bottle of wine or two at Christmas. I would still prefer to see DS emptying family packs of doritos and downing Coke to drinking lager in some park somewhere.

Why do you see wanting to eat what his friends eat as rebelliousness? It sounds really harmless to me. If this is the worst thing he and his friends want to do, consider yourself lucky.

If you're concerned about his weight, consider that he may be about to do some serious growing, or that he might benefit from participating in some sport or doing weightlifting. DS played sport all through school and burned it all up.

Or maybe you could serve larger portions to him at dinnertime, or allow him to help himself, since the meals you serve are healthy and nutritious?

Is your DS obese? Is he just a little bit pudgy? Somewhere in between? If a medical professional hasn't voiced any concern then I don't know if you need to be as worried as you seem to be about the biscuits.

The way you put eating biscuits and rebelliousness in the same category has me wondering a bit I have to say. Knowing that what he can't have is somewhere in the house is going to backfire on you all, imo. You run the risk of getting genuine teenage rebellion mixed up with the topic of healthy eating, and putting off the development of a healthier approach to food in your DS as a result. The teenage years are to some extent about allowing your DC more autonomy and leaving some decisions up to them; hiding the biscuits seems to be going in the opposite direction.

Would you consider giving him a weekly allowance that he could spend on snacks for himself and when the money is gone then sorry, no more empty calories, or trips to the cinema, or whatever else he would want the money for?

You would have to lead by example here too, and not keep stuff in the house that he craves.

'...is still growing big time, he can't just eat more than he needs, think his metabolism can't take that.'

He probably does need it. DS can still pack away a mountain of food. It would leave me looking like a hippo if I ate that much for even a week.

You seem very hung up on the idea of him gaining weight. That is not healthy and your fear will contribute to a skewed attitude to food on his part. I am speaking as the daughter of a bulimic mother here.

You need to get to grips with your fears for your DS's sake.

When he is away in college he will be a grown adult or at least completely out of your control from day to day. You will need to let go.

I think eating 7 custard creams is totally normal for a teenage boy tbh.

I buy about 12 bags of crisps and 5 or 6 packets of biscuits a week for ds and he hoovers them up within the first two or three days. I don't buy any more when they're gone, he has to make himself a bacon sandwich or something.

He does a massive amount of exercise, runs 5 miles a day every day after school in addition to his actual sports and doesn't have an inch of fat on him.

I think you're making a bit too much of an issue of it tbh.

I think it depends.
DS1 is 6'2" and weighs 10 stone 10. He eats constantly and has done since he was 12. I expect him to eat regular healthy meals with the family but on top of that he grazes none stop. He will eat a huge Sunday dinner and then start snacking an hour later. I have warned him that he won't be able to continue to eat so much when he is older. He does however lose weight at the drop of a hat. So whenever he is stressed (exams or girls) he loses weight.

DS2 is quite different. He is 5'7" and 9 stone and bordering on chubby. He is aware that he can't eat like his brother, has to watch the snacks and has learned to make healthy choices and limit sweets and junk. It's very unfair.

So I would say if his weight is fine it's normal teenage boy eating.

Thank you for your posts.

May I say, I don't need the "face my fears" advice particularly. I am very aware that any issues with one's children are partly to do with the parent. I am self aware and like many mums often feel guilty for any mishap with kids.

What I have found useful is hearing how others manage this issue, has just clarified what I'm doing right ( or what concurs with how I want to support my DS) and sometimes What I'm getting wrong

My ds eats lots and is the same age! We have good home made meals as dd has allergies, so I have to make a lot myself. However, we also have lots of biscuits/bars. We cant have healthy nut bars ect due to dds nut allergy. She is also allergic to certain fruits but ds has never been a fruit eater really. He seems to help himself a lot to the snack cupboard but is a real growing lad at the moment, which I think makes them eat more! Currently taller than me now but still very thin so I don't get overly concerned. He is also quite active and is out every weekend with his mates. I suppose another thing is he will only ever drink water so not having the sugar intake of some so I really don't worry to much. If he was struggling with a weight issue then obviously I would limit what we buy or have in the house or re look at better options.

My eldest son was just the same when he was living at home - constantly eating! We used to eat healthy, filling family meals, but he would continue to graze in the kitchen throughout the day and night even... There would be issues because he would finish all the snacks (biscuits/crisps/cake) leaving none for the other two siblings. He has always participated in sport, and this meant he didn't have to worry about putting on weight, plus with a father that is 6'6'', his eventual height meant he could carry a fair bit of weight anyway.

He went to Uni last October, and looking at recent photos of him, he has really put on quite a bit of weight despite still participating in a lot of sport. I suspect it is the huge alcohol intake that is the route of the weight increase, as much as the diet!

For the two siblings at home (15 and 13) I am now taking a different approach to diet at home. We have stopped buying any of the snacks (crisps/biscuits/cakes), no fizzy drinks as well as eating a vegetarian diet. They are both allowed a cake once or twice a week and that is all... They are both very enthusiastic about the new regime and support us in the initiative as they are fully aware of the reasons we are trying to improve our diets. It has meant me and my husband have had to buy into this as well, and we are all looking so much fitter and healthier.

I think the success we have achieved is mostly down to educating ourselves about the effects a bad diet has and I would heartily recommend giving it a go... not all teenagers react negatively to this sort of initiative and it can reap benefits for the whole family.

Since you say you are interested in hearing what you may be getting wrong -- One of the things you're getting wrong, as far as I can tell from your posts, is to mix up your DS's appetite with the notion of teenage rebellion. What that makes me suspect is that there is a controlling attitude somewhere along the line wrt food. If this is the case, it will backfire. If a doctor has not told your DS that he is overweight, then he is not overweight even if you think he is a bit chubby.

Just to fuel growth, teenage boys need about 2,500 to 3,200 calories a day. Throw in exercise, and an average boy will need up to 3,900 calories a day depending on how intense the exercise is. Michael Phelps' daily intake was/is allegedly 12,000 kcal per day. Protein, calcium, fats and fibre are all important, plus minerals. Protein is especially important. About half of the adult bone structure is deposited in the teenage years, for both boys and girls, and for boys, increased musculature requires a lot of nutrition. It also contributes to faster metabolism of calories. Testosterone is the driver here, not rebelliousness.

Newsflash! Boys eat much more than girls, in fact more than anyone. 'Throughout pubertal development, males have significant, additional growth needs that are not accounted for by their current body size.' In this study it was found that boys could consume 2,000 calories at lunchtime alone. Here's a synopsis.

An interesting paper here with a SE Asian focus, showing growth rates for teenage girls and boys, caloric requirements and nutritional needs. {boys 15-18; 3000 calories/day}

This is the nutrition sheet DD1's swim team was given by the dietitian, who conducted a very solemn meeting with the team and parents where we all had to commit to do our best to support our athletes. It was hard to do a 'three hours before' meal when she had practice beginning at 5.30 am; she ate before bed instead. All of the foods on the list are good ideas to have at hand for snacks or meals between meals.

To Mathanxiety - I didn't say I want to hear what I'm getting wrong, it is up to me to ascertain what I may be getting wrong and 'critical parent' types don't really impress me.

However, despite the patronising of the first paragraph, I found the rest of your post a good read.

Thank you to the other posts too. It is interesting for me to think about.

'What I have found useful is hearing how others manage this issue, has just clarified what I'm doing right ( or what concurs with how I want to support my DS) and sometimes What I'm getting wrong'

Maybe I misread?