Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Anyone else's teen thinking about going in the Army?

46 replies

mumblechum1 · 03/03/2012 10:49

DS has been Army mad for a few years now. His plan is to join as an officer after Uni (he's lower Sixth now). I was anti at first, and his dad is still anti, but my view is that he's got this passion, this life plan all worked out, and I'd rather he did something he loves than sit around unemployed after Uni which is what a lot of people seem to do.

Anyone else in the same boat?

OP posts:
LilacWaltz · 03/03/2012 10:54

Mine also. Dd and possibly her brother, though not at officer level unfortunately!

Dd did have designs on welbeck college at one point, but criteria v v high.

Does he already do army cadets? Mine do, it's been invaluable

Original poster
mumblechum1 · 03/03/2012 11:01

Not cadets (dh wouldn't let him) but he just got back last night from a week long residential Insight Course which he absolutely loved, and confirmed that he's really interested.

He even enjoyed the 24 hour manoevre involving night ops, ie crawling through brambles and nettles at 2am Hmm.

He's currently in his room filling in the form for the TA, having had an interview with them a couple of weeks ago. He's joining the TA as a soldier as he's only doing AS levels at the moment, and is pitching the TA to his dad as a p/t job, of which there are very few around at the moment.

How old is your dd, and what's her long term plan?

OP posts:
Original poster
mumblechum1 · 03/03/2012 11:02

One good point is that he'd been smoking weed over the last year, not to a worrying extent, I think just occasionally, but he's given that up as they do random drug tests in the TA and they're dishonourably discharged if they get caught.

OP posts:
LilacWaltz · 03/03/2012 11:05

She's only 15, but very focused. We are off to army careers office soon. Need to seriously look at options, but considering army foundation college.

Original poster
mumblechum1 · 03/03/2012 11:11

See if she'd likek to go on an Insight Course. They're open to 15 to 30 yr olds iirc. She'll be in a dorm with girls of her age.

OP posts:
Original poster
mumblechum1 · 03/03/2012 11:12

www.army.mod.uk/join/21893.aspx

OP posts:
uruculager · 03/03/2012 11:24

Why are you and your husband opposed to it? Was there another career path you had in mind?

Original poster
mumblechum1 · 03/03/2012 12:01

I was initially opposed to it because I don't want him to be killed or injured (our eldest son died so he's now our only).

DH is still opposed to it for the above reason, and because he's a pacifist, but he's warming slightly to the idea now that he can see just how passionate ds is about what he wants to do. I think he's resigning himself to the fact that ds is determined.

OP posts:
uruculager · 03/03/2012 12:17

Ah, I see. Has your son thought about what he'd like to do in the Army?

There are no guarantees for safety but an officer in the Adjutant General's Corps is obviously at less risk than a platoon commander in the Parachute Regiment. The Cavalry or the Royal Artillery are less dangerous than you'd think and even the different regiments in the Infantry have differing degrees of risk: as far as I'm aware not a single Grenadier Guards officer (not counting those attached to other regiments) has been killed in action since WW2.

We'll obviously be out of Afghanistan by the time he commissions if that helps.

jbl2312 · 03/03/2012 12:29

my ds has been wanting to join the army since he was little, he want to go as front line infantry!!, however he missed going to the army college due to his own cba attitude, i think he thought he could just sign up to the army, not as easy to get in as he thought, as the army careers told him if he want to get into the army then he has to work at getting into the army, so far he has failed 2 pre selections again because he cba to do the fitness training his education also lets him down he is currently doing uniformed services at college and is about to get kicked off because of his poor attendance.....teenagers eh....

Original poster
mumblechum1 · 03/03/2012 15:14

thanks for replies.

uruculager, you sound like you know from the inside what's what. DS does want to go into the infantry, tho' he's academically pretty strong, and the Major who met with him initially suggested going into Intelligence.

jbl2312, tbh, from what ds toldl me today about last week's course, you do really have to show 100% commitment or they're not interested. He did 5 mile runs every day before he went on the course, did 60 or 70 pushups and sit ups a day etc so he was physically up to it.

OP posts:
GnomeDePlume · 03/03/2012 20:22

My DS is only 13 but also wants to join up. He is now in Army Cadets and I am very glad he is. I think that all the opportunities to get a taste of the life should be taken. Otherwise I think the selection process could be a real shock to the system.

exoticfruits · 03/03/2012 20:38

I think that you have to go with what they want to do. You get to choose your own career -your DCs get to choose theirs. If you try and do it for them it causes problems in the long term.

Tobermory · 03/03/2012 21:09

The point is if you don't let him he may resent you for it later on and as soon as he is old enough will join up anyway. DH served for 14 years long before I met him and whilst he can spin some scary stories, some are funny and I believe that he had a great time. Your DS could get killed in a rta or anything. You say you lost a sibling in the past so it must be hard to let go but you have to as you cant keep him in cotton wool. Tell him that you are behind him all the way, support him and encourage him to achieve as much as he can and I am sure that you all be more comfortable. Any way he might hate the TA. And no more dope!

Original poster
mumblechum1 · 04/03/2012 00:10

We're not trying to stop him. I'm just wondering if anyone else's dc is thinking of joining up.

OP posts:
FoofFighter · 04/03/2012 00:20

My DS started at Harrogate in Sept just gone, he's found it thrilling, exciting, fun, but also terribly hard, exhausting, wanted to leave several times and probably still will as when he joined up he was going to be a tank crewman then they stopped that role and told him he had to be infantry which he never wanted to. he is trying to change to Air Corps but i don't honestly think he'll get it so he said he intends to leave if he doesn't get that and rejoin in a years time as an adult.

He's wanted to join up for so long, I dread him regretting coming out but it's his decidion to make.

Good luck to your DS.

Original poster
mumblechum1 · 04/03/2012 08:48

Wow, FF, how old is he? Did he leave straight after GCSEs?

OP posts:
FoofFighter · 04/03/2012 09:34

Yes he did.

LilacWaltz · 04/03/2012 09:59

Was it 'easy' to get into Harrogate? Dd is worrying she isn't fit enough

Original poster
mumblechum1 · 04/03/2012 11:55

Lilac, I don't know whether you know about the arrse website? Just google arrse.

I just found a thread there of parents, many of whose 16 yr olds are training at Harrogate. I'll see if I can find it again and link to it.

OP posts:
sodapops · 04/03/2012 12:11

DS1(17 has his heart set on joining the Army straight after A levels. We have been to the careers office and have been told it is possible. He wants to be an Infantry Officer too. He has no desire to go to Uni and has said he will join the Army as a private and then go for his commission rather than go to Uni.

I am happy for him to join up (DH has been in the RAF for 25 years) but am not totally happy for him to be in the Infantry. I have told him this but I have told him I will support him.

He has a friend from school who joined up in the Summer before he had even got his GCSE results and is loving it. If I would agree to sign the papers (I won't) he would join up tomorrow!

Original poster
mumblechum1 · 04/03/2012 16:04

Sodapops, would yours consider going in the TA in the meantime, or is it not worth it (not sure whether your ds is upper or lower sixth)

OP posts:
basildonbond · 04/03/2012 21:11

ds v keen but wants to do the Sandhurst route after uni - he's a lance coporal in his school's CCF at the moment so gets to go on camps and tell younger kids what to do! tbh, I'm not keen but know that if I tell him 'no' it'll just make him more determined. dh thinks it'd be the making of him ...

ds already incredibly fit due to all his sports training so that side not a problem for him

janinamc · 06/03/2012 00:22

I would not advise anyone to join up in today's climate, and certainly would never want this for my children. I type this sitting in my crummy Army quarter, waiting to move for the umpteenth time in 20 plus years. Having just found out one DC cannot get into the local school, my job applications have been rejected, and the (unmentionable, sad twisted warrant Officer that didn't get his commission) of a housing officer objects to the number of picture hooks we have in the wall. Other DC is at boarding school because they too got fed up with only getting into crappy schools and having to move every 18 months to 2 years. Oh, and DH's pension has just been slashed as a bonus.
You would have to see this hole of a house to believe it- and my DH is an Officer. Curtains are 20 years old as are carpets- disgusting. You buy your own but are still expected to clean and hang the Army ones when you leave. Kitchen retro 70s and watering can shower- when it works. When he was a soldier we ended up living in our own house because the soldiers' accomodation truly was unbearable. Plus we couldn't use our garden because neighbours were regularly having parties until all hours and swore...hmm, like troopers!

Where we live now would put Shameless to shame. I know I will get shouted down about this but it is the true. Walk through any Army estate and you will see the odd nice, neat looking house. and the rest awful- and these porr families have to live in this environment. In the first flats we lived in couples regularly punched doors and walls down during their domestics and the RMP visited weekly. Feral children roam this estate at all hours where we live now and social services turn a blind eye because otherwise they would be here every 5 minutes.

The local schools spend a fortune dealing with all the welfare issues from these families. And don't get me started on the blatant racism directed towards the Foreign and Commonwealth soldiers and their families...not really from the Army but from a lot of the white, British soldiers' wives. The (soldiers)Wives here have been banned from all places on camp because they have either fought or trashed the place...nice.
Add into this that if your DC stays in the Army and gets married, their family will probably be unable to 1) get an NHS dentist 2) get into any Brownies/ Cubs etc and 3) live by themselves for 80% of their lives but, be told by well meaning people (family included) that this is "choice".

DH would have done better to have started at Tescos as a shelf stacker and worked his way up. Really, do look at Army salaries (mine is not infantry either) and you will be shocked at how crap they are- remember the sorts of hours they will have to work...no 9 to 5. My DH has fought in every campaign 80s onwards and even he is starting to see that. He has worked so hard, reached the top of his game but sees how badly his family are treated these days and it is getting worse. And financially,it does not make sense at all.
Tell them to join the TA and get the best of both worlds. Truly, as a daughter of and now a wife ( so 40 plus years experience) I really would never, ever recommend it.

LilacWaltz · 06/03/2012 08:06

Gawd ! That sounds grim, and a million miles away from my life as an army wife! I quite enjoyed it all. Do understand what you are saying though

Swipe left for the next trending thread