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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Demotivated teenager and cannabis

3 replies

Urbanrefugee · 27/02/2012 16:43

I'm looking for advice about my 16 year old son! We discovered that he'd been smoking weed for some time. We had had out suspicions but believe me finding evidence is far harder than youd imagine. Since December he's been grounded apart from a once weekly outing with a new girlfriend who dumped him recently. This had got him started on how much he misses his old friends and weed and how much fun they had. He's seriously dyspraxic and dyslexic and struggles at school. Current GCSE pressure had been very stressful. He says that being seen as a "Stoner" and knowledgeable gave him street cred at school and he earned respect. He's at an independent school where access to drugs is easy despite the teachers best efforts. We've talked endlessly to him and know that we can't keep him chained up forever. We're all going away for a long weekend with friends which include school friends of his so we are hoping he can re-establish lost friendships as his drug taking dis-connected him somewhat. ANyway, I'm banging on and desperate. He's defiant. Says we don't under stand. All the usual rubbish that they're not addictive etc (just seeing the behaviour change and his pre-occupation with cannabis made us realise somehting had changed). Recently he's been put in the school footy team and his game is improving. But he steadfastly refuses to work on his GCSE projects. Has anyone else had similar experience?

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bargainmad · 02/03/2012 21:58

our son is 16 (17 in July) and we have just stopped all money, apart from £2.50 a day for lunch. He was coming in quite a lot stinking of cannabis, and we could smell it in the house if we went out for the night and came back. The worst thing was he did it in front of our 13 year old son. I always suspected he used it at weekends but mostly kept it well hidden. But after smelling it in the house 2 weeks ago we searched his room and found 4 empty bags. He has been smoking it when he has the money for the last 3 years but we found out in the first 6 months so always made sure he never had much money. I suspect he has even been spending his dinner money on it if he is getting it during the week.

He can't even be trusted with any birthday/christmas money - we have to go with him if he wants to buy anything. I can't see this changing any time soon.

I don't know what kind of cannabis he smokes but he never looks completely "stoned" but maybe he has a high tolerance level to it? I have no doubt if he had unlimited money and no boundaries and lots of freedom he would be a cannabis addict by now.

The only advice I can offer is to severely limit any money you give him if you have the evidence he is smoking it. There are no easy answers - it is an ongoing battle.

I have a brother and a sister who are addicts (crack cocaine, heroin and alcohol) and another brother who has never worked a day in his life (under the guise of being a house husband - his wife works and he smokes cannabis all day!) so I will fight tooth and nail to make sure this doesn't happen to my son as addiction must run in the family, although me and his dad have never had any problems with anything.

Maryz · 02/03/2012 23:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Urbanrefugee · 15/03/2012 16:14

Thank you so much anyway. Youve both been really helpful. He seems to have improved lately and has made a big effort to re-kindle his old friendships pre-stoner days. He is smoking tobacco which is a pain but not massive amounts. His work is improving and he's more cheerful overall. Still not going out without us taking and picking up and he doesnt seem to mind. After GCSE's it will be all change so we'll see. Thanks again both of you for your help. I don't expect we've seen the last of his problem behaviour!

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