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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

ds1 18 just failed 2nd driving test and is gutted

23 replies

longlashes · 21/02/2012 16:11

Cant believe it . He has had loads of lessons, his driving instructor is supposed to be really good and has an 83 percent first time pass rate. He is also gutted as he rarely has a second time fail. Have straight away bookd another test but ds 1 is saying what a failure he is. I think his nerves played a big part in it. I so wanted him to pass. Apart from the cost so far, and that is £1500, he has not a lot of confidence in other areas, Did sixth form college, hated it, is now on his third course at a different college, so far so good. Christ though he is so moody and ds2 a year behind isn't much better. I love them both so much but someone please fast forward me five years!!

OP posts:

Sparklingbrook · 21/02/2012 16:16

Your poor DS. If I fast forward five years DS1 will be nearly 18. I thought it got better.

What did he fail on?

FruitShootsAreALittleHorrit · 21/02/2012 16:17

My DD was gutted too when she failed the second time. It is an awful feeling because there is nothing you can do for them.
DD only had minors on her first test (mirrors) but the second test she went a bit to pieces she was so stressed and she actually looked in her mirrors too much!

DD passed third attempt just before Christmas. She was all set to give up and I was all set to get a different instructor but she improved a lot over the last few weeks and drove a lot with us. She was quite natural about it by her third test.

Tell him to persevere. It doesn't matter how many times it takes you to pass as long as you are a good driver in the end!
The lessons may seem expensive but thats nothing compared to the petrol and insurance once they pass

Original poster

longlashes · 21/02/2012 16:22

He failed because he pulled out at a junction in front of a car, don't know why he did it, said it was nerves, also positioning of the car. He rides a 125 motorbike and his instructor said that might have affected his positioning! I had 4 tests I must admit but that was years ago. I think he feels bad because we are paying for them. He is at fulltime college but not working though is looking for a summer job. I paid to tax and insure his motorbike but I can't forever, ds2 is coming up to 17 and needs lessons. Ds1 is upstairs blaring out music at moment am leeaving him to calm down.

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crapteacher · 21/02/2012 17:04

Tell him to grow up and get over it. He can enjoy the the short time when he won't be the 'designated driver' out to the pub with his mates. I'd rather be 18 and without a license than 42 and with one.

Original poster

longlashes · 21/02/2012 17:33

Thats what taxis are for isn't it? if everyone can afford to go out then they can bung in for a taxi. And he will get over it, is just disappointed, thats natural.

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webwiz · 21/02/2012 18:09

Just give him a bit of time to wallow in self pity and then put in for another test. DD2's has several friends who took three attempts to pass, they got there in the end.

mockingjay · 21/02/2012 18:48

That's a bit harsh crapteacher. Of course he'll get over it, but it's not a nice feeling and does deserve some sympathy.

lucykat · 21/02/2012 18:54

I remember when I failed my first driving test, (many years ago). Wanted to give up and nearly did. My Mum encouraged me not to, however and I passed second time. Never looked back. Best feeling in world. He will be fine. Honest.

NoVeggiesBeforeSkeggies · 21/02/2012 18:55

for your DS. It's a horrible horrible feeling.

My brother took a few goes, but is a very good driver- nerves I think.

I always pipe up with my 'eat a banana and take 2 paracetamol before test' advice on driving test threads, so here it is again!

Best of luck to him for next time!

NoVeggiesBeforeSkeggies · 21/02/2012 18:56

*go's?

Loonybun · 21/02/2012 19:01

Aw I feel so sorry for him. I am 31 and it took me three goes due to nerves etc. I was in tears and gutted after the second one and swearing I couldn't do it. In fact I had a years gap after that as I was just fed up with it all - I then toook an intensive course and passed last year! He will get there.

Northernlurker · 21/02/2012 19:08

I passed last year on my first go but it was the MOST nervewracking thing I have ever done. A friend's 18 yr old was taking his test the next day and he failed for the second time - nerves got him. He took it again at the end of the summer and passed triumphantly. Your ds will get there.
How is in he the car with you? If you can I would take him out as much as possible just to get lots of practice in traffic.

gingeroots · 21/02/2012 21:02

My line is that its good to feel nervous - shows that you're a responsible driver .
People ought to feel nervous ,( tho obviously hard when you're learning ) cars are dangerous things .
A few fails are probably an indication of what a thoughtful ,responsible driver you will become .

Original poster

longlashes · 21/02/2012 21:03

Ah thanks everyone, I haven't actually taken him out in the car with me, thought maybe I had too many bad habits! We have rebooked for a months time, was nearest date available although his instructor said keep checking for a cancellation. Hes a bit better now though gone off out on his motorbike. His instructor phoned, said he could haver easily passed just suffered nerves. I know how he felt and I took mine years ago. I dreaded it.

OP posts:

Annunziata · 21/02/2012 21:11

Poor thing. It's a rotten feeling.

My sister had to get some sort of herbal nerve-calming thing from Boots, I don't know if that would be any help?

Original poster

longlashes · 21/02/2012 22:18

Yes thought about getting him some kalms or whatever, will look into it,thanks.

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iklboo · 21/02/2012 22:25

DH is a driving instructor. He recommends Bach's Rescue Remedy for his nervous pupils.

Original poster

longlashes · 21/02/2012 22:36

Thanks, just looked that up on Amazon, someone left a review about how it helped them pass their driving test. Even if it is all in the mind , and I wouldn't know either way, if it works its worth it .

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MedusaIsHavingABadHairDay · 21/02/2012 23:32

My son (18)has failed 3 times.. and only JUST failed each time. He is very competent but his nerves just get the better of him:(

We are going for rescue remedy next time too..psychological or not it may help! It's horrible but it's something we can't fix for them:(

CervixWithASmile · 21/02/2012 23:41

I get terrible nerves too, I only passed when I used a hypnotherapy DVD for a couple of weeks before. Made a massive difference.

nowittynamehere · 22/02/2012 08:58

Failing a driving test is gutting I failed first time and never went back im a 40 odd non driver which seems rare these days as everybody drives , dd2 passed her 2nd time she was so relived , can you change instructors for your son maybe an intesnive course would be better get it over and done with , and yes do get rescue remedy thats what i got my dd and im not sure if it works but the placebo effect is there iyswim , She had spray and chewing gum ,

Sarcalogos · 22/02/2012 09:05

:( poor boy, failing is rubbish! It took me 5 goes because of terrible nerves, it was SO worth it in the end, don't give up! (I now have a clean licence and 6 years no claims, passed 6 years ago, so it's no indication of how good a driver you will be, the test is so artificial iykwim)

Original poster

longlashes · 22/02/2012 15:46

I was talking to a friend at work toady. Her friends daughter passed first time with a minimum of lessons. In these first two months she has been stopped for driving without lights on at night and also panicking and doing a u turn on a dual carriageway.
Have rebooked for ds1 but hoping to get a cancellation.

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