Making up after a fight with dd

[essyol]

Dd was incredibly Stroppy aggressive and rude to me this pm, and I tried to be clear and assertive (you are being v rude talking to me like that and it isn't acceptable...). But I'm afraid despite my starting off assertively I did end uP being rude back and saying I couldn't wait till she left home.

Earlier in the row I'd said she needed to apologise to me for being rude in the way she was being.

It's now 6 hours later and she has not spoken to me or come out of her room. The atmosphere is awful.

How do I move this forward? I want to apologise for my part. But I also want her to apologise for her part. I sort of feel if I apologise first, then I have let her off the need to say sorry to me. But I don't want a new week to start Monday with us warring like this and leave things festering. Help please

Have been in similar potion with ds. I have tended to say sorry first as I feel it's important to show I may not always do the right thing but I can recognise when this happens and am big enough to apologise. Most of the time ds also apologises then and there and we make up or if not its only a short time later till he does so. Sometimes I feel ds is at the mercy of his hormones and needs me to create an opportunity to stop him being a muppet. Other times he is of course just plain rude

Could you say "Please come out of your room so we can talk"
Or "please can I come in your room and sit on your bed so we can talk"

Then talk......
You could wait for her to talk first, she what she says - or get in quick with your apology and hope hers is immediately forthcoming.

I sometimes text as a way of breaking the ice, maybe worth a try

Any joy op?

Go and tell her that whatever else, you are sorry for being a pillock yourself and you really don't want to let the sun go down on this. You sound as though you are sorry, so even if you think she should be too, at least do your bit and you will feel better.

Good luck x