14yr old son splitting with his GF because her mother 'hates' him

[Mumsalot]

Hi all first time poster and hope u can help, my 14yr old is splitting with his girlfriend cus her mOther does not want them to be together, this is his first love he has been seeing her for 4 months, he is very mature for his age aand says he loves her but also does not want to have a relationshiP in secret and to make matters worse her mOther is also his English teacher! His grades are all all A/Bs but or sure if I want someone teaching mt son if she clearly doesn't like him, please help

I think you need to separate the two issues. The fact that she doesn't want her 14 Yr old daughter going out with your son is one matter. She may not want her daughter going out with anyone!

I don't think there's any thing you can do about the fact that she teaches him.

Yes I think you are possibly jumping the gun about why the mother does not want them to be together- you say it is because she doesn't like him, but is there any evidence for this? My guess would be it is more like the mother feels things are perhaps getting a bit too serious betwee them and she would rather her DD doesn't have any boyfriend at all as it is having an affect on her school work or maybe other areas of her life such as clubs/hobbies etc. My advice would be to console him, but help him to move on and remain friends with the girl. If he toes the line with the girl's mother now, if they remain friends they may even be able to pick up the relationship when they are a bit older.

This happened to my DC - the other mum didn't allow my DC and her DC to have a date during one of the school holidays. My DC was very unimpressed (as was I) and ended things with the other DC. They remained good friends until other DC started going out with someone else a couple of months later (long distance though) which made my DC a bit jealous I think. A year later and they're friends again. Other DC isn't going out with anyone at the moment but my DC is.They still look out for each other and I still share runs to their activities with the other mum.
Try not to take the actions of your DSs girlfriend's mum personally. She is probably worried about him being a distraction and although the friendship between your DS and her DD is very special to him, you might be surprised at how quickly he 'moves on'.
It's a pity your DS's girlfriend's mum is her teacher but she should be professional enough to treat him fairly.

Sorry - DS's girlfriend's mum is HIS teacher.

Just a thought - when my DD wanted to break things off with a boy but was worried he would be devastated, I told her to use me as the excuse.

It worked very well, just a few glares when I dropped off at parties etc. Maybe DS teacher suggested a similar tactic?

she might not want her daughter to go out with anybody maybe boyfriends at 14 are forbidden and the girl has said her mum doesnt like him i think the fact she is his teacher is different iyswim , 14 yr olds are fickle the girl may have got bored with your son or fancy another boy dont worry about the teacher not liking him she maybe oblivious with what her daughter has said , DD2 is 14 and her friend isnt allowed BF she has had 5 without her parents knowing ,

Hi i,m knew to mumsnet posting too. I saw your message on my post about wanting to bribe dd's new boyfriend into dumping her! of course i wouldn't want her to get hurt at all so young and that's my point, if her charmer has no good intentions 14 is so young for relationships, it's hard enough when we were all older.

Naturally mothers of sons have a bit less to worry about than parents of daughters.however your son sounds very decent, finishing with her, respecting her mother's opinion and not sneaking it underground. I would have a bit more faith in a chap who was consistently honest and 100% decent. If only that was the case with many 14 year old hormonal experimenting boys!I think the girls mother will bear that in mind considerably if it sparks up again. Good karma is awaiting your son i think for being so mature.