I've posted previously about ds1(14) and his behaviour and lack of care regarding school work and himself.
We've been trying to tackle the school work as he's yr 10 and already sitting exams tht count towards his gcse result. He should be aiming for a minimum of a b but is on target to fail both maths and science.
Meetings have taken place with the school and tutors sought out revision plans made but as soon as back is turned he doesn't stick to agreements.
I work and his siblings go to gp's in the day in school holidays but ds1 has been allowed to stay at home (they wouldn't make him do any revision anyway) with the understanding that he must complete the work set for him before he's allowed out. Also that no one is allowed inthe house.
I have to say he hasn't stuck to his side of the deal at all and usually ends in us shouting at each other. Yesterday he had a session with a youth counsellor and he came out and fed me all the right things I genuinely believed something had clicked and he would try his best.
Fast forward to today ds2 was at rugby camp but I got a call to collect him as he'd been vomiting after an accident. So unexpectedly get home at 11.30, no sign of ds1, his room is an absolute tip (he shares with ds2 so not fair of him to be so messy as ds2 fairly organised boy) he's not answering his mobile responded to text asking where he was with 'out'.
His dad just shouts, he's one of those men that has no understnding of anyone else and seems to like shouting and being mean for the sake of it. E.g ring to tell him ds2 has come home from camp and get tuts and sighs and told he can't be Ill he has matches tomorrow and Sunday and thT ds2 is just being lazy and wasting xh's money!
I'm at the point with ds1 that i feel like giving up nothing i say or do has any impact. The only time he appears to be nice is when he wants money or expensive new clothes/games/gadgets. It's affecting the younger children ds1 is becoming moody and withdrawn and asks why ds1 has to ruin everything.
I missed something, the last week (half term) small things have gone missing lighters, half a pack of cigarettes (in a drawer for months from my xp who used to smoke, yes i know I should have thrown then out kept meaning too) and the odd pound coin from his siblings money tins. He has money each day left for him to buy lunch. He was given the opportunity to come to work with me and earn some cash, washing vans hoovering out the cabs and sorting out some cupboards but he declined.