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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

my step son has no respect for anyone or anytthing.

10 replies

stressedoutmumofthree · 17/02/2012 11:49

plz help, my step son is 18. he goes to college 3 days a week and works 2-3 days a week. lately he has been staying off college to earn more money which i said is wrong as his education is more important. he lies to his dad and says he isnt needed in college. i try and say something to his dad be he never deals with anything and then me and him fall out because im interfearing. he is going to get kicked off his course. when he is no longer in education and working full time i will lose out on tax credits for my 2 little ones and him. he pays us £20 a week out of his £150, we pay for everything and he does nothing round the house unless i give him his £20 back. last year he stole everything from us that was not tied down and sold it. he is hatefull with me and my kids unless we do as he says and he is cruel to my dogs! he buts in on every conversation me and his dad have and always puts his opinions accross, i was always taught to have respect and he has none. he wont leave us alone for 1 minuite and follows us when ever we try to leave the room and talk. me and my husband are considering splitting up as he wont say anything to him about all this and choses him over me :(

Is this me just moaning??
What should i do?
plz help, thank you.

OP posts:
thenightsky · 17/02/2012 21:30

I'd be asking him to move out. Can he get student housing with some college mates?

AllPastYears · 17/02/2012 21:38

Stealing from you and selling it? Surely your DH wasn't ok with that? Shock

stressedoutmumofthree · 18/02/2012 16:30

We haven't got the 7 grand he needs to go to another college with student housing. My husband won't say anythin to him... I don't know why. Its as if he has a hold over him! Events changed for the worse last night! I decided me and my husband would go out for the night so we could be on our own without him being there, which turned into 6 hours in a&e for us..... My step son has caused that much trouble that when we were in the pub somone recognised us as his parents, he asked my husband are u his dad?? He replied yes..... Then he said this is for your son and stabbed him in the head :( he is in such a mess :( what do I do????

OP posts:
AllPastYears · 18/02/2012 21:26

Bumping for you! Never been in such a situtation so I don't think I can be much help...

But I do think if he'd caused that much trouble I be asking him to leave regardless of the money. If you don't have the money to send him elsewhere, tough, he finds it himself. OK it wasn't him that actually stabbed your DH so you can't really blame him for that directly.

However, if your DH isn't on board I don't know... Do you think your DH just doesn't know what to do about it either and prefers not to discuss it as he can't see a way out and is just hoping it will all go away?

stressedoutmumofthree · 18/02/2012 22:35

I think you are right about my husband not knowing what to do or say. But it still makes me feel like I have no suport. It is all so emotionally draining. I have asked my step son to please move out even if just for a couple of weeks until everyone gets change to calm down. We are really scared of what trouble is going to come back on us because of last nights insident and pressing charges etc... I do worry for my other 2 young children. This situation is impossible, he said he won't leave and I can go * when he saw his dad in that state in the hospital he just said he didn't care and its not his problem and its tough on us. Its just the whole lack of respect, and to be honest he only ever bes like this when his dad isn't there to hear it. I think he wants me to leave! Maybe that's what I should do. Thanks for listening, it has helped.

OP posts:
shopaholick · 18/02/2012 23:20

I'm having a similar problem with a daughter. I've tried everything i can think of. It's starting to effect my other children. She is distant, aggressive and talks as if she doesn't want to be part of our family anymore.
I can only hope she will grow out of it.

stressedoutmumofthree · 18/02/2012 23:32

If me and my partner were on the same side, wanting our son to be a nice person and respectful I know we could get through it..... But unfortunatly that's not the case. I wish children came with a instruction manual!

OP posts:
shopaholick · 18/02/2012 23:54

me too

AllPastYears · 19/02/2012 08:28

Have you and DH been together long?

stressedoutmumofthree · 19/02/2012 14:05

6 years!

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