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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

DD has left for her new job

21 replies

FruitShootsAreALittleHorrit · 13/02/2012 15:43

and I miss her already

it's so weird to come home and see her bits and bobs still around
She's been home since she finished college last summer and usually sits in the lounge on her laptop.
I'm really pleased for her and I hope she gets on really well but it's going to be so different here.

They grow up so fast

OP posts:

accidentprawn · 13/02/2012 17:30

what job is it? has she moved miles away?

Original poster

FruitShootsAreALittleHorrit · 13/02/2012 17:34

She training to be an activity instructor

At the moment she is on her induction for 2 weeks in Kent but after that she goes to one of 3 centers that she has put down, so could be on the Isle of Wight, Norfolk or Kent for a year as an apprentice and then hopefully into a permanent job.
She is 2 hours away.

Thanks for the hand holding...I'm sure once I am busy it will be easier but at the moment I am moping!

OP posts:

hellhasnofury · 13/02/2012 17:40

Can I join your moping?

My 19 year old DS moved out last weekend to take up his post as falconer in a centre 200 miles from home. I am very proud of him but miss him like crazy. It doesn't help that we had less than three weeks notice of his move. One minute he was working locally and planning on being there for another 18 months before going to Uni and the next? He'd seen the job advertised, applied, been appointed and was moving.

They grow very fast don't they?

Original poster

FruitShootsAreALittleHorrit · 13/02/2012 17:51

People always say they grow fast and when you're struggling with the baby / toddler bit you think 'I wish' and then you realise that those stages are really brief and too soon they are all grown up and then they leave!

A falconer sounds exciting and unusual!

OP posts:

hellhasnofury · 13/02/2012 18:06

I was saying exactly the same thing to friends today. I used to mentally shrug my shoulders and think 'Yeah, right'. All those people were so right.

He's always dreamed of being a falconer but called it his 'unrealistic dream job'. Now his unrealistic dream has come true.

Will she be able to get home for visits regularly or will you be able to get to her?

Original poster

FruitShootsAreALittleHorrit · 13/02/2012 18:36

I don't know.
She recently passed her driving test but she can't afford a car yet.
She is just under 2 hours away so it is easy enough for me to get to her at the moment or she could probably get a train home as she is near a big town. But I'm not sure how much time off she gets yet or where she'll be based after the first 2 weeks.
Hopefully she'll phone or text regularly when she gets settled and won't mind me visiting
How about your DS? is it easy for him to visit you or you visit him? Part of me thinks I need to leave DD alone and that she won't want her mum around too much but then again maybe she will!

OP posts:

hellhasnofury · 13/02/2012 18:43

He's about a 2.5-3 hour drive away, he does own a car but I think petrol costs are going to be tight for him. We're going over Wednesday and Thursday this week as he's struggling a bit with the loneliness. He's in a pretty grim shared house and has Asperger's so his social skills are pants at the best of times. Is your DD living on site with her training?

jasminerice · 13/02/2012 18:46

Does it really go quickly? Mine are 5 and 8 and time seems to be passing veeeerrryyy sllloooowwwwllllyyyy!

hellhasnofury · 13/02/2012 18:48

It really does fly.

jasminerice · 13/02/2012 19:01

I wish it would go just a little bit faster. Just til DS is old enough to wipe his own bum!

hellhasnofury · 13/02/2012 19:09

I remember those days well!

mrsjay · 13/02/2012 20:11

yes time does fly mine is almost 19 no signs of moving out yet i think she is here forever I think its great that your DD has gone on to do her training ,

hellhasnofury · 13/02/2012 20:19

DS showed no signs four weeks ago, in fact we had a conversation in the car one night in mid Jan about how he was glad he was till at home and had no plans to go anywhere until he was about 22.

Life changes fast sometimes.

mrsjay · 13/02/2012 20:24

DD is at college near us well a 40 minute drive so she commutes where she works isnt that far either , her Boyfriend is here , so I dont think she is in any hurry , her collge course turns into a degree in september but she will be at the same place , My sister is 29 and still lives at home

Original poster

FruitShootsAreALittleHorrit · 13/02/2012 20:31

DD is living on site but didn't know what her accommodation will be like so wasn't sure what to take
So she took everything just in case!
however I've just noticed she forgot her wellies and her shaver so she won't be able to hide her hairy legs in her boots

She hasn't texted yet...I'm fussing I know but it would be nice to hear that she's down the pub already settling in and made some new friends.

OP posts:

mumeeee · 14/02/2012 10:33

I've been through this twice when DD1 and then DD2 went to uni. DD1 came back for a short while after uni but then she got married and is now living in London. DD2 is in her final year but is not planning to come back home. She and her friends can have the house they rent for at least another year. I miss them both but also glad they are making lives for themselves. DD 3 is 20 and is looking at going to uni next year. She is Dyspraxic and also has another learning difficulty. She's at college and doing well. Time does fly by. I miss all the stuff we used to do together when they were children.

hellhasnofury · 14/02/2012 10:36

29!? I am hoping 21yo DD leaves of her own free will before then or else I might have to move into the shed. I wonder if changing the locks on the front door would work??

Did you hear from her in the end Fruit? DS wouldn't text for weeks on end if we didn't contact him.

I miss those things too mumeeee but I do cherish the new relationships we have now.

mrsjay · 14/02/2012 14:14

Yes 29 well in a couple of weeks , and she acts like a teen , anyhoo even though you are missing them you must be really proud the have the confidence to go out and live away from home , im working on it with dd1 as i dont want a 29 year old living at home she does have that confidence yet

Original poster

FruitShootsAreALittleHorrit · 14/02/2012 18:05

She phoned last night about half 9

Was lots of very loud teenagers in the background. She was fine but not very impressed with the accommodation , but it's not her permanent place anyway.
She'd had a busy day and was going to be outside all day today!

She probably won't contact me for a while now unless she needs something but it was nice to hear her and know that she's getting on ok.

OP posts:

mrsjay · 14/02/2012 19:05

Thats good shes contacted you and put your mind at rest , my friends dd went abroad int he summer she was a watersorts rep for a holiday company , her accom was a bed in a dorm with 4 bunkbeds and her meals were whatever was left from the Hotel meals friend was furious her DD didnt give 2 hoots

hellhasnofury · 15/02/2012 22:28

We're down in oxfordshire with our lad, got quite a shock when I saw him as he looks poorly but we took him out to the pub and he managed to neck a couple of pints. He also ate a meal with gusto.

He has tomorrow off so we can spend the day together. It is very good to see him.

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