Anyone else got a bedroom dweller?

[niceguy2]

Hi all

I'd just like others opinion of if this is normal behaviour and she'll snap out of it or should I tackle it?

DD is now 15. Overall she's a good girl. Getting good grades at school (expected A/A*'s). No real discipline problems other than occasionally being late at school or throwing the odd strop at me for some petty reason.

The main problem is that she's constantly camping out in her bedroom. I mean literally from the moment she gets home, she'll be in there apart from brief appearance when I call her for dinner and maybe a couple of times a week she'll watch some TV in the lounge.

Her room is well.....digusting. She used to be such a tidy girl and I used to be so proud of how pristine she kept her room. But now there's clothes overflowing out of her cupboards, you can barely see her carpet. There's bags of rubbish recycling. If I ask her to tidy her room she grunts and ignores me. If I persist then she'll go off on one about how she's 15 you know....she knows!!!! I don't have to tell her...... but ofc nothing happens! lol

Conversation wise most of the time it's bare minimum really. Occasionally she'll open up about what she's doing or problems with friends etc.

I guess I just feel like she's living in the house but not really living WITH us if that makes sense?

Tell me this is normal and I'll get my beautiful daughter back one day????

Oh yes I have 2 of those!

That said they do come down at intervals as the only TV is down here.

The rooms are a tip but as others have said it's THEIR space
so I let them do their thing.

However as I tell them if they want things washed they need to extricate the laundry now & again.

I usually just knock on the door and proffer a wash basket or wastebin and
ask them to fill it.

I'm told the aliens give them back eventually, and in reasonable human shape too.

Golly I honestly thought it was peculiar to my DS .
He's up there all the time apart from meals .
I managed to persuade him to bring himself and lap top downstairs ( for a change of scene ) for a couple of hours yesterday .

@TheScarlettPimpernel Me to re the bedroom dwelling and wanting a room of my own!

My 16yr old DS spends most of his time in his room comes down quite happily for dinner and snacks. 12yr old DS still likes hanging out with us at the moment, I say us but it's mainly DP as he'll play Fifa with him. I fully expect him to disappear into his pit in the next couple of years.

My 15y DS is one too - we call his room 'the bedsit'. I refuse to deliver meals because I like to see him at least twice a day. But actually, when we do see him he's lovely, I know he's in touch with friends up there through tinterweb, which I prefer to him hanging around the streets. A crowd of them went out tonight and they were all very chatty and polite before they went we taxied them so I'm not worrying about it.

I was like that; but DD is never home.....I only see her when on taxi duty

I need for her to have a bit of bedroom dwelling', really I do!

Niceguy, I could have written your post word for word. dd, also 15, also v bright and also lives in her bedroom (which has the appearnce of the aftermath of a Primark sale). She is so absorbed in her own world, spends all her time in her room on the internet or playing music. She will talk to me if she's in a good mood or wants something but otherwise, I get a lot of withering looks. It saddens me that she never wants to spend time with the family at large but thankfully she does have some nice friends and is out with them a lot. She can be a total contradiction in that she is very snappy with me most of the time (dh notices it) and yet she'll tell me that all her friends love me!
Dh has been very unwell over the past few months which has not resulted in any change to her behaviour, her younger brother has shown more empathy and support than dd - I'm just hoping ds remains somewhat sociable when he becomes a teen...

She's a teenager!

(It's normal)....