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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

teenage pregnancy!!!!

17 replies

laurissarawson · 12/02/2012 21:00

my almost 15-yr-old sister has just told me that she think she might be pregnant. i have a baby due in a month and cant be there for her as mch as id like. she has begged me not to tell mum - HELP!!!!!

OP posts:
Threeprinces · 12/02/2012 21:09

First things first, find out if she really is pregnant.
If she is, you'll need to support her to tell your mum. She'll have to think seriously about what she wants to do and be prepared to defend that choice.
My stepdaughter got pregnant at 15 and got me to tell her dad, my DH. She did A levels and went to uni and now has a lively and lovely 7yo. Not ideal by any means but it can be ok.
It'll be alright whatever happens but she needs to work out if she really is pregnant first. If she's not she can breathe a big sigh of relief and learn a bloody good lesson about being careful in future.

Original poster
laurissarawson · 12/02/2012 21:12

ok, ill go get her a test immediatly. you gotta wonder what the person at the tills gonna think, seeing a woman that is clearly heavily pregnant buying a pregnancy test...

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MrsPresley · 12/02/2012 21:13

First of all, how far into the pregnancy is she?

Has she any idea if she wants to continue the pregnancy or not.

Either way your mum needs to know. Is there anyone else who can give your sister support telling her.

It will be a big shock for your mum but it's not the end of the world. Been there, done it and have a lovely 11yo grandson now but it's not easy.

Threeprinces · 12/02/2012 21:13

Yes they will wonder!!! You've got to see the humour where you can! Good luck with it all :-)

Original poster
laurissarawson · 12/02/2012 21:16

she said she's missed her period and that was three weeks ago, she was hoping that it was late, so if she is, abut 6-7 weeks i should think. theres no one else for her to tell - other sister is only 9....

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MrsPresley · 12/02/2012 21:23

What about an aunt/good friend of your mum/teacher.

I didnt find out till my DD was almost 30 weeks Shock so not a lot of time to prepare.

What about her boyfriend? will there be any support from him and his family.

More importantly though, how do you think your mum will be. Obviously shocked, but do you think she will be supportive?

Original poster
laurissarawson · 12/02/2012 21:32

as much as i love mum, i was 21 when i had my first and she threatened to disown me! told me i was disgracing the family name and should move out of town. luckily for me i had already moved out - told her at 28 weeks so that she couldnt try and blackmail me into having an abortion. i will talk to sister about her options ad everything, if she wants to keep it etc, and if the worst comes to the worst, i have a spare room and she can always move in with me and DP, but she's fourteen, she got her GCSE's and everything...

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MrsPresley · 12/02/2012 21:47

laurissarawson

I really really feel for your sister (and you), she must be feeling terrified at the moment Sad

It's a shame your mum feels like that. Although I wish my DD had been a bit older, I really wouldnt change anything. Your sis is lucky to have you and I hope you can keep offering her support.

Thing is, if she decides to have the baby, it wont be easy, financially or otherwise, despite people thinking young girls get lots of benefits, houses etc in reality it certainly didnt work like that for us.

My DD went back to school and did her standard grades and highers, but I gave up work and looked after my GS so she could.

I really hope everything works out for her.

cazboldy · 12/02/2012 21:51

oh how lucky she is to have you

I wish I had had someone to turn to when I was 14 and pg.

My (now) dh was very supportive, and eventually my parents were very good, but it was horrible, and to begin with my parents wouldn't even consider me keeping my ds1.

Of course they don't tend to remember that now.....

He is 15 now.......when I was his age he was 6 weeks old

Original poster
laurissarawson · 12/02/2012 21:54

thankyou so much! have now confirmed that she is deffinately pregnant, so she's in the bathroom atm on the phone to her boyfriend. she'll have to decide what she wants to do about it first, though she was saying earlier that nothing i do will make her get rid of it! thaankyou for the advice - i went into extreme panic mode for a while back there! will keep you posted on what she says when she comes out of the bathroom hahaa xx

OP posts:
Original poster
laurissarawson · 12/02/2012 22:00

cazboldy - wow, good work! im glad she does have me if im honest, well done for getting through that with no one there!

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MrsPresley · 12/02/2012 22:02

laurissarawson

Please dont let her rush into a descision, whatever she decides will affect her for the rest of her life.

You might find that she changes her mind a few times before deciding on the the right one.

Original poster
laurissarawson · 12/02/2012 22:17

MrsPresley

i wont, i'll talk her through her options and stand by her whatever she decides to do. if she wants to keep it and mum's not happy, she can move into the spae room if she needs/wants to, was gonna be DD2's room, but she'll share with DD1 if she needs to xx

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VickityBoo · 12/02/2012 22:24

All I can say is well done for being a supportive sister.

Hopefully your mum will soften (any chance) a little and not be so harsh but be there for support and advice when she's needed. Your sister has some serious adult decisions to make now.

Original poster
laurissarawson · 12/02/2012 22:25

thanks :') and hopefully, fingers crossed.

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Threeprinces · 12/02/2012 22:39

Yes well done to you for being there for her. Good luck with it all, will be checking back to see how it goes.

Original poster
laurissarawson · 12/02/2012 22:41

n'aaawww,thaankyou!!

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