Pocket Money

[tan3517]

My son is 14 how much pocket money would you advise me to give him on return of chores. I dont want to go over the top but I also want it to be worth while. I'm talking clearing dinner table, putting rubbish out, making and changing his bed?

Denj yy to the washing! I have always had the rule with them that if it is not in the washing basket or they put it in the machine I will NOT do it. Want a particular top for your party and it's dirty - tough shit I am not there to scoop up their dirty clothes.

I don't ask them to load the dishwasher as no one can do it properly like I can but, when they cook/make drinks/have friends over, then I expect them to clear up afterwards.

DD2 had the house with her friends over NYE and I was slightly worried about returning, but needn't have been. They had done a sterling job cleaning/changing beds etc etc. On being thanked (possibly with a surprised look on my face) she said that she preferred to stay in one piece and also that they would like to do it again

One of my older DDs generally keeps a half tidy room, the other does NOT. She is getting better though, after losing her car keys for 3 days in there and having me refuse point blank to drive her anywhere.

DS is surprisingly neat(ish) for a 15 year old boy (compared to how my three brothers were at that age), so perhaps my methods have worked somewhere. Though I do have to remind him of the clothes washing rule from time to time.

My dd (15) gets £14/month, my 11yo gets £10. Out of this they have to buy non-essential clothes and hygiene articles/make-up (I will pay for soap but not for perfume).

It is not linked to chores, but then dd has very fluctuating health and it would make family life very uncomfortable if ds was to be paid more for being relatively healthy. They are both expected to help out when they can.

My dcs get £1 a month per year of age - ie 15 yr old gets £15 and 13 yr old gets £13 per month. We pay subs / membership for things but they pay if want to go to cinema or something and they pay for own phones.
Like others, it's not linked to specific chores, but they've always been expected to "contribute to the running of the house" at their own level - setting table / clearing away / loading and unloading dishwasher / taking turns to cook the tea. I think the way we get them to do it, is, partly they've always been expected to, and - this counts a lot for my dcs - is seeing "it's fair". ie that siblings don't get away with doing less

DS was on £20pm at 14/15, with a PAYG phone that I put £10 on every 2 months or so, but at 16 we put it up to £50pm and he funds his new smart phone contract, get his haircut when needed and non essential clothes. He also has a job but he is saving all wages for Uni etc.

I would echo all those who say define what the basic minimum is which you expect him to do. Here DS 14 gets £50 but that includes his phone, all clothes except basics and uniform, gifts( he must buy DD birthday and Xmas gifts and in practice he buys for us too), all treats, going out with mates etc. In return he has to keep room tidy, put dirty washing in basket, put clean washing away, change sheets/duvet on bed when asked, walk the dog once a day at weekend and during school hols, and take his turn at table laying, clearing away table, put own dirty stuff in d/washer and just contribute to household in the way an adult would ie if I ask politely "can you help me bring in shopping/run x round to neighbour/post letter etc" just do it without sighing! Most of the time if I see something slipping a friendly reminder that it is pocket money day soo, produces immediate results! So far haven't had to make any deductions ( been going since September). If he is saving up for something worthwhile and/or needs extra in a month for something I will find extra jobs he can do to earn money. This half term he wants to earn £20 so I have given him a list of stuff to do before Sunday which includes washing and cleaning out both cars, sorting out all the recycling and taking to recycling point, sorting out and reboxing all Christmas decs ( they are still in spare room post Christmas), taking all books/DVDs/CDs off shelves in room downstairs, sorting them all out etc. He seems to respond quite well to a challenge like this and does things pretty well so we are all happy!

Ds is 13 and has always had pocket money linked to chores. He has AS/ADHD and it works best for him if he has definite cause and effect consequences. He wouldn't see the point in everyday chores without some material gain. To be fair the everyday stuff is only worth 10p or so, but it establishes a habit for him. He gets more for bigger tasks like washing the car, mowing the lawn, hoovering, though they are very occasional.

He's been making his bed, putting clothes in the laundry basket, taking out the rubbish each morning for years. He does other routine tasks as and when asked. He also washes his swimming things every week and is starting to do a family wash on a weekend, for which he's paid a bit more.

On a Saturday morning he tots up how many tasks he's done (we keep a list on the wall) and that's how much money he gets that week. It's usually between £8 and £12. From that he has to pay for social life, phone top up, Xbox games and any other tat he wants. We pay for clothes, food, bus fares and education-linked leisure activities eg drama, karate, though he knows that once he gets to 1st Dan he'll be paying for that himself. If he's mature enough to get to 1st Dan, he's mature enough to fund it .

This has worked for us because it's taught him not to take anything for granted. Most things cost money, either his or ours. It's given him the incentive to look at ways he can earn money if he wants something out of the ordinary and he'll ask for extra chores to get it.

Different strokes for different folks though, and it doesn't work this well for everybody.

Blimey my DS is 14 and gets £15 a week not linked to chores etc. He also get's £10 a day during the holidays

DS1 is 16 and gets £25 per month, DS2 is 14 and gets £20. They have to pay for phone and entertainment but not clothes.
I have never linked pocket money to chores. They are expected to do certain things such as setting / clearing table without being asked. Other jobs they do when asked, such as cleaning the bathroom, changing beds or fetching in logs and coal. They first did little chores when they were about 6 or 7 as I recollect.
I do pay for bigger jobs which are voluntary such as car washing or lawn mowing.
I think it would be hard to start expecting a child to contribute to the household chores at 14 if they have never done anything before.

My DS1 is 13 and DS2 is nearly 15. They have £50 a month and that is for EVErything that need, XBOX live, DLC's, clothes, train, cinema, mobile phone etc. I buy anything to do with school - uniform/shoes/bags/pens etc. They get £100 on a birthday and £200 at xmas which they can buy a new phone/save for laptop/new console etc. I expect them to help around the house anyway - which they always have done (laying and clearing table/loading dishwasher/changing their beds/cleaning shoes/sweeping leaves and even cooking (more recently)) BUT if they swear/disrespect around the family then I take £1 off for every offence (which doesn't happen very often). It seems to work well, no more nagging in shops, they both take their wallets with them. My DS2 is currently out on his first date taking GF to the cinema - he bought her a present and made a card (cuz they are all a bit overpriced) I'm proud of him! I tend not to interfere in what they want to buy and I don't interfere in their rooms, they need to feel independant, but cared for at the same time.

We try and remember to give DSS (13) £5 per week but always forget and then he gets £5 per week from his mum and a phone on a contract.
To be fair he doesn't hardly ever remember to collect his pocket money and I expect clothes to make their way to the wash basket, bed to make itself and if I'm feeling particularly evil stepmum like difficult, then expect the duvet cover to be put back on his quilt when it's clean. As he always forget when he wants some money for cinema etc we just give it him

I'm really in the minority here but my children have never had pocket money. Dd is 23, ds1 is 18 and ds2 is 15.

Obviously the older two are too old now for pocket money but the youngest has a paper round and gets £9 a week for it. We give him no money and pay £5 a month towards his £15 phone contract.

Dd used to sweep up in a hairdressers and had market jobs, ds1 also had a paper round.

They do have jobs to do around the house, nothing major, and all do their own ironing - that started for all of them at the age of 11 when they move to senior school.

I've never been in a position financially where I could dish money out to them, I don't know if I would behave differently if I was.

I discoverd (probably later than most) that it is often in the tone of voice. If you say it as though it is a reprimand then that's obviously aggravating to them but say the same thing in a neutral tone as though it's a normal thing you would ask anyone and the results are surprising! One thing I avoid though is asking for a "favour" when it comes to everyday chores. They are not a favour to you. Running the house is a joint effort (not equal...but joint!)